Visit Our Family Blog for Further Updates

Now that our precious and long awaited Emalyn is home, I can't separate our adoption posts and family posts because they are really one in the same. Therefore, our future updates will be posted to our family blog at www.mybirdsofafeather.blogspot.com. We would love for you to keep following our journey. While we are home from China and our "long road" seems to have come to an end, in reality, it's just begun. Monday Emalyn will have her cleft repair surgery and in just a few weeks we will welcome our third daughter. The excitement has really just begun. Thank you for your continued support, encouragement, love and prayers.


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One Month in Our Arms

It's hard to believe Emalyn has been in our arms for a month now, but, at the same time, I feel like she's been with us forever. Quite a phenomenon, right?

When I reflect back to her Gotcha Day...her lack of trust, her developmental level, her lack of interaction with us those first days...I see so much progress! Several sweet friends who have been down this road have encouraged us to look at the bigger picture. To look for progress over the period of a week or a month at a time. What great advice, because there are certainly ups and downs on this road, but when I look at the bigger picture of the last month, Emalyn has come SO far.

We have made great strides in many areas! Her development has grown by leaps and bounds. We have seen her do so many things she had probably never even attempted before.

She is babbling more every day. And is rapidly learning to communicate with us. She waves and says 'hi' and 'bye bye'. She says 'dada' and associates it with Hank. She points to Adair and says something I can't spell, but it's the same every time. She gives hugs and kisses when prompted and just out of the blue. She has learned several signs and uses those, pointing and shaking her head to communicate what she does or doesn't want. She understands everything we say to her and follows a lot of commands and requests.

She is extremely active and loves to climb. Adair is continuously alerting us that she is headed up the stairs. She has climbed all the way to the top multiple times (with supervision, of course). (Not to worry, the gate is being installed this weekend.)

She loves being outside! It took some getting used to, but she loves to swing, play with a ball in the grass and ride the little bouncy horse at the park. She also loves stroller rides and walks around the neighborhood. I can't help but think about how many new things she sees when we are outside!

She loves baby dolls. She and Adair both love to feed their babies. I'm hoping this new play will lead to the nurturing of Myla Grant when she arrives.

She has learned what it means and what to do when we say "let's say the blessing" when we sit down for a meal.  She always puts down her fork, spoon or food and folds her hands.  It is the cutest thing!

She loves to mimic me when I am getting dressed in the mornings.  She will pretend to put on makeup and loves to brush her hair.

She can almost buckle the top buckle on her carseat all by herself.

She loves to take her shoes off and thinks it is so funny when she does so and then hands them to us...thankfully we have come a long way since she took her shoe off and threw it across the table on morning at breakfast in China.

She has developed quite the favor for Hank.  She runs to greet him when he comes home from work and loves to play with him.  A definite 180 degrees from a little over a week ago!

We are definitely still working on many things, too. But it is so encouraging to see her grow so much so quickly!

She has reached for a couple of other women, that she didn't know, in the last few days, so we are still working on learning about family boundaries. And I am still getting comfortable with what to say when she attempts to let someone else hold her and they don't know the "rules".  I know it may sound crazy to someone who hasn't been in through this process, but it is crucial that no one other than Hank and me hold her and meet her needs until she thoroughly understands that we are her parents, that we are permanent and will love her forever. 

She does seem to be taking well to my parents. We have spent a good bit of time with them over the last two weeks and will eventually let them keep her for an hour or so without us, as we try to prepare her for Myla Grant's arrival. I am thankful that she already seems comfortable with them. It definitely helps that she sees how much her big sister loves them!

Sleep is still somewhat of a struggle for her, especially at nap time. She only sleeps for a short 45 minutes and wakes up tired and sad, but her crying spells are becoming shorter and she is becoming easier to comfort. At night she sleeps well, but wakes up like clock work between 2:30-4:00 am. She goes back to sleep once she lays down with me, but never goes back to her crib. I think this will get better as she becomes even more secure and trusts us even more. I know she will eventually be able to self soothe, but we're not pushing it right now. I enjoy the snuggle time as much as she does, although, I'd prefer it during the daylight hours.

We are so thankful that the dream we had of holding her in our arms came true a month ago.  We count our blessings daily and thank God for the unconventional way our family is growing.  While the transition to three daughters may not be easy, we know that God is sovereign, that He will provide and that He will not give us more than we can handle.  We can't wait to meet our third daughter and for Emalyn to becoming a big sister and for Adair to become a big sister again.  Hopefully, we still have several weeks to bond and attach with Emalyn before Myla Grant arrives, but we joyfully anticipate her birth!  Three sweet girls!  What more could we ask for!

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Dare I Say Daddy Progress?

Yesterday, Hank left early in the morning to go to Huntsville and returned home around 5 pm.  This is unusual, at least since Emalyn joined us, since he works from home and is typically in and out throughout the day.  "They" say absence makes he heart grow fonder!  Perhaps "they" are right!  When he got home last night, Emalyn smiled and ran to him, let him rough play with her on the floor and then pick her up and kiss on her.  Shortly after that, she went outside with just he and Adair, and Hank convinced her to swing and she loved it!  She still prefers for me to be there and do everything for her (which is totally normal and how it should be), but this tired, very pregnant mommy is thankful for a little relief.  It also warmed my heart to see our newest daughter loving on her daddy.  It's just a matter of time before she figures out that he's the most fun and he becomes her "favorite".

I promise I am not coaxing them to do this!  They just love each other so much!

Greiving, Melting Down, Loving & a Pickle

Emalyn continues to adjust and attach well.  She surprises us with something she is capable of everyday! 

Over the weekend, Hank and I needed to attend a funeral visitation.  Sadly, our sweet friend Jerry lost his mom suddenly last weekend.  Please pray for his family and him if you think of it.  It was one of those things that we just couldn't skip.  We desperately wanted to support our friend and remember his mom.  Anyway, my parents kept Adair and we took Emalyn with us for a quick visit.  She managed wonderfully for a little bit and then I could tell she was getting anxious.  I walked outside with her and she perked back up to her usual self.  I found myself thanking God that, even after only three short weeks, we are able to read her like we can. 

Nap time remains our most difficult part of the day.  She goes to sleep easily now when I rock her, but only sleeps for 45 minutes to an hour and wakes up extremely sad.  She usually just whines and whimpers to get my attention, but as soon as I pick her up she begins to wail.  Most days she cries inconsolably for 20-30 minutes after waking up.  I know she is grieving, but it is such a helpless feeling not being able to console her.  Friday, she was crying and screaming while she was asleep and I couldn't wake her up.  It was a very alarming experience.  I found myself wanting to break down and cry with her, but instead I tickled her and jostled her around until she woke up...at which point she realized I was still there and she was safe in my arms.  I am pretty sure she was dreaming, but I sure wish I knew about what.  There are so many times, especially during these inconsolable moments, that I long to be able to read her mind.  I just feel like if I knew what she was thinking I could console and comfort her better.  I do know that she needs to grieve.  I want her to and, as I have said before, I am thankful she experienced something in her past that is worth grieving over.  In addition to that, I am thankful this is happening during the day and not in the middle of the night. 

At night, she continues to sleep well.  Hank and I have transitioned out of her bedroom and she is doing great.  I think she is comforted knowing Adair is there and she isn't alone.  In the mornings, she wakes up, stands up in her crib and grunts until I get there.  I have been amazed and thankful that she doesn't wake up crying.  I think she already understands that we are still there even when she can't see us and knows we will come as soon as we hear her.

Tonight at dinner we had our first major mealtime meltdown.  She is very independent and loves to feed herself with a fork or spoon.  A sweet friend from church brought spaghetti tonight for dinner and she loved it, but she wanted to feed herself, desperately.  Since she and Adair had already had a bath and were wearing their clean pajamas during dinner, I was very against this idea...generally I don't mind.  She let me feed her 3/4 of her dinner and then totally lost it when I wouldn't give her her plate.  We tried everything, but she only wanted the spaghetti and she only wanted it off the fork from her own hand.  We offered pineapple, bread, etc., but nothing would do.  She screamed and cried and refused food for 20 minutes.  It was a battle of wills, truth be told.  She was being stubborn and I was refusing to reward her screaming with giving in.  Finally we got out some yogurt and she gave in to feeding that to herself and letting me feed her the remaining spaghetti.  Thankfully, she is sound asleep upstairs in her same pajamas and without spaghetti in her hair. 

Over dinner and during Emalyn's screaming fit, Hank and I were having a conversation that has become fairly routine when something is a little difficult with the girls...I'm sure you can guess..."how are we going to do this with three girls?"  As is typical, Adair always corrects Hank when he says "three girls" and reminds him there are four girls (she always includes me).  The same thing followed our conversation tonight and then Adair looked at Hank and said, "Daddy, you're really in a pickle!"  Hank and I both just about fell out of our chairs laughing.  She was so serious and it was hilarious!  Thank you, Adair, for bringing comic relief to what started as a difficult dinner.

Here are a few pictures of our last few days. 

We enjoyed a fun day outside on Saturday morning.  We walked to O'Henry's, stopped at the park, then came home and had a picnic outside. 

 We made our first quick trip to the grocery store on Sunday morning.  While I was putting our groceries away, Emalyn enjoyed rearranging our fridge.  Everything went from the bottom shelf, into the drawer, and back again.

Yesterday, after dinner, the girls chased each other around the kitchen and when one caught the other (which isn't hard in our tiny kitchen) they would hug each other tightly.  Very cute!

Snuggling in Mommy and Daddy's bed this morning and pretending to go back to sleep...unfortunately for us, they really were only pretending.

Lately & Clinic Update

Before I launch into the details of our doctors visits, I thought I would give an update on our daily lives around here.  Emalyn continues to adjust well and her personality continues to emerge.  We've introduced a lot of firsts this week, especially food firsts.  Thanks to our really sweet friends and my parents, we haven't cooked a meal or purchased a meal since we returned home over a week ago. We have probably all gained a few of the pounds we lost in China back with all the yummy meals and deserts and it has given us a great opportunity to allow Emalyn to try things and to see what she likes.  Currently, she is not very picky at all.  She is a typical toddler, so I imagine that will change with time, but she is willing to try anything and, other than many meats, we haven't found a lot she doesn't like.  She loves macaroni and cheese, baked turkey, every fruit we've given her, every type of rice we've given her (fried, of course, Greek, plain, etc.), peanut butter, yogurt, and pretty much any sweet treat.  One thing that did surprise me is that she didn't like chocolate milk.  We've had a hard time getting her to drink much milk, formula or whole milk, so the pediatrician at the adoption clinic suggested we try adding something to it.  Adair loves chocolate milk, so we thought we'd start with that.  She was not a fan.  She took a sip and then looked at me like, "what in the world is this?". 

We have played outside alot since the weather has been so pretty.  We live really close to Homewood Park and have walked over a couple of times.  She loves to observe the other children playing and to watch Adair on the swing and slides, but isn't ready to play yet.  The first time we put her down to walk in the grass she started screaming, but over the last few days she has become more and more familiar with it.  Today she was walking in the grass barefooted and crawling in it.  We are so proud of her for overcoming that little fear and we keep telling her how much better the "summer grass" will be.

She has also made great strides with bath time this week.  Throughout our time in China, she cried most every time we put her in the little inflated bathtub.  When we got home, we decided to bath her in the kitchen sink (as we did Adair until about a month ago) since she was used to being bathed in a small basin at the orphanage.  That didn't really go over any better the first couple of times, but as the days (and baths) passed, she started playing more and crying less.  Last night she didn't cry at all until I started washing her hair, but who can blame her?  So, tonight we decided to try bathing her with Adair in the tub upstairs.  I was shocked that she didn't cry when I sat her down.  She immediately pulled out a few toys and played contently until Hank bathed her and it was time to get out.  She did have a minor meltdown when he turned on the faucet to rinse both girls, but we think it was because she anticipated having her hair washed.  We had looked forward to when the girls could play in the tub together and it's fun to be at that point.

First Krispy Kreme donut (thanks, Crabtrees!)

Fun bath hair...between the rinses that lead to crying

First spoonful of peanut butter...big fan!

Rolling around outside in their Chinese dresses.

Silly girl

All smiles

Adair loves to swing like this...thankfully the swing is low to the ground

1, 2, 3...Jump!

Fun in the big bathtub.

Happy to have a bath time playmate.

Yesterday, Emalyn had her first appointment at the International Adoption Clinic.  She did so well and we were so proud of her.  She cried the most when I had to sit her down to be weighed and lay her down to be measured.  She weighs 22 pounds and is 30 inches tall which puts her in the fifth percentile for both weight and height.  Dr. Kiser was not at all concerned about her size and said that most internationally adopted children catch up to about 25% within the first year home with appropriate nutrition and interaction.  She said she looked great and she didn't see any red flags or cause for concern about her health.  Emalyn does have many marks all over her that resemble bug bites and Dr. Kiser thought they might be leftover from her having the chicken pox.  They drew seven viles of blood, so they will test to see if she has had the chicken pox.  It will be interesting to see if that's what caused the "bites".  If so, it will save her one vaccination.  We were amazed at how well she did during the blood draw, too.  She cried for about 10 seconds when they first started and then she watched with a curious look on her face as they drew tube after tube.  Thankfully, the lab tech was great at her job and she only had to stick her once (despite her little veins) and got it over with very quickly.  We also met with a counselor at the clinic, Kelly, to discuss attachment and bonding.  She was wonderful and such a wealth of information!  She had a lot of great advice for being intentional about bonding and preparing her for Myla Grant's arrival. She was also able to answer alot of questions we had about taking Emalyn places, discipline, sleeping, etc.  In addition to all of that, she asked us alot of questions about Emalyn and our experience with her thus far and to observe her interacting with us.  Through that she was able to assess how she is doing and give us feedback.  She was very encouraging and said that Emalyn seems to attaching and bonding well.  She is doing a lot of what they look for in a well attached child and seems very comfortable and loving with us (especially me) already.  She also said that based on everything she observed and how good Emalyn looks, that she was well cared for (to foster care level) and was certainly loved and favored at her orphanage.  That was wonderful to hear since we don't know much at all about her previous life.  Hearing that made us all the more thankful for her first caregiver(s).  Same as Dr. Kiser, she said she didn't see any red flags or cause for concern as far as attachment goes.  We are so thankful that our littlest miss is doing as well as she is!  The Lord definitely put our family together just the way He wanted it to be and we are thankful that He never gives us more than we can handle.  We left the clinic very encouraged and optimistic about the coming weeks and the progress that can be made before Myla Grant arrives.  We also left with a good plan to help prepare Emalyn to be away from me for hours at a time after Myla Grant arrives.  We will go back in three weeks for a follow-up visit where we will learn the vaccinations Emalyn will need to be up to date and will also meet with Kelly again.  I am thankful we get to bend her ear once more before our next daughter makes her appearance (unless God has a different plan).

It's been the marathon of medical visits this week, so after four hours at the International Adoption Clinic yesterday, we spent four and a half hours at the cleft clinic today.  It is such a blessing to be live Birmingham and have such easy access to such great medical care.  At the cleft clinic we saw an audiologist for a hearing test, a speech pathologist, a genetics doctor, the plastic surgeon and an ENT.  In a lot of places you would have to make five separate appointments all over town to take care of these exams, but the clinic made it so easy.  We were there for a long time, but now it's all done!  Emalyn got a great report.  We learned that her hearing is great (this is a big blessing, because many children with cleft experience a lot of ear infections that can lead to hearing loss and because Asians are prone to ear infections due to the shape of their inner ear...so she had two strikes against her).  She will not need tubes, which is very rare.  The audiologist actually said that she has never seen an Asian child with cleft not get tubes during their surgery, but the ENT said Emalyn has great ears, so she's an exception to the rule.  [One quick aside on God's continued presence: When we were called back to see the audiologist, she introduced herself and I introduced myself.  She immediately said, "Ya'll go to Mountain Brook Community, right?".  It turns out that we go to church together and she had heard our story through her community group.  She immediately said that she and her family had been praying for us. I just thought that was so cool and love the way God continuously shows Himself.]  In addition to not needing tubes, Emalyn also has a great pallet.  There is a chance with cleft lip kids that their pallet is effected even though we wouldn't notice it, but Emalyn's is fully intact.  Her cleft lip is also a very minor, first degree case.  All of that to say, her surgery is scheduled for April 2, which just happens to be our anniversary.  She will spend about 3 hours in surgery, an hour in recovery and one night at Children's.  Dr. Ray was very optimistic about the outcome of her surgery and said he didn't anticipate her needing another one until her baby teeth fall out and the ridge in her gum can be repaired.  We were also told that children her age tend to recover well and quickly, in fact, she has to be eating and drinking before we can take her home.  Thankfully, all of the stitches will disolve, so she won't have to go through the pain of having them removed.  We are happy that we will be able to put this behind us before Myla Grant arrives.  In any other situation, we wouldn't have pushed to do it so soon, but we feel like it's best for Emalyn if we go ahead and do it now, then welcome Myla Grant and then settle in completely as a family of five.  Otherwise, she would be facing multiple big changes/traumatic experiences over the course of many months and each time would likely set her back. 

We are so thankful for your continued support, care, and encouragement.  Please pray for Emalyn and for us as we continue to get to know each other and grow more deeply in love with each other.  We are all doing well, but we are tired and weary at times.  Please pray also for Adair as she continues to love on her sister and learns to share her mommy and daddy.  She is an awesome, sweet little girl and has made us so proud during this massive life change for all of us. 



Milestones

It is truly amazing to see how much Emalyn has progressed since we first held her in our arms two weeks ago today!  It is remarkable what love, affection and individual attention can do for a child.  I can't say for sure that she had never done any of these things before, but this is when we first saw her do each one and I imagine that it was the first time considering the large amount of time she spent in a walker and in her crib at the orphanage.  (The other alternative is that she is somewhat shut down to us and is gradually letting her full personality and abilities come through.)

February 26......Saying "dadada"
February 29......Clapping & pointing to things she wants
March 1......Using the baby sign for "more"
March 3......New tooth broke through...in the ridge of her gum behind her cleft (we had wondered if there would be a tooth there and there is!
March 4......Waving, saying "bye bye"

In addition to these milestones, she has also made great strides in understanding what we are saying to her.  She definitely knows her name now and can follow a lot of short commands and requests.  Yesterday, she was playing with my computer and I said "Emalyn, no no.  That's Mommy's.  Close it." and she did exactly what I asked.  We are trying to be diligent to reward her with Smarties when she listens and obeys and when she is gentle with her hands.  She is growing in the gross motor skills area, too.  She is walking (sometimes practically running) much better and seems to be gaining more control over her strength and her hands.   

We go for our first appointment at the International Adoption Clinic on Wednesday morning and we are anxious to hear their assessment of her growth, development and her lip.  It will likely be a long, grueling appointment, so please pray for all of us.  I think they draw a lot of blood and do several seemingly invasive exams.  It will be hard for her to endure that much touching and prodding and hard for us to see her upset and hurting, but it is necessary to gather the most information and have the best possible medical history on her.

I am not sure I have ever mentioned this before, but we are so fortunate to have such incredible medical facilities and professionals right in our backyard.  Most people have to drive from miles around to visit the IAC, UAB and Children's Hospital, and we are so thankful to have their services at our disposal and so close to home!  What a blessing!

Now That We're Home

We've been home for two days now.  It's still hard to believe the journey we've been on since leaving home a little more than two weeks ago!  Emalyn is settling in at home.  She's very happy during the day, but we are stuggling with nighttime sleep.  I think it's a mixture of the journey she's been on, confusion about us and whether or not this is permanent, and jet lag.  Our first night home, she went to sleep very easily, but woke up crying three hours later and was wide awake for three hours.  When she finally went back to sleep it was 3:30 am.  Adair was also up and hungry not long after Emalyn, so I think all of the sleep on the plane probably contributed to their wakefulness.  I got up at 10:00 am yesterday and the rest of my precious family (including Hank) slept until almost 1:00 pm!  It's become a mad cycle because after sleeping so late, bedtime came late and difficult for both girls last night.  Emalyn slept for about an hour and a half after going down, then started the same routine as the night before.  She woke up about 11:30 pm and didn't go back to sleep until 3:30 am.  Adair was up again around 2:00 am.  Today, we got up earlier, but we are obviously going to be adjusting to the time difference and figuring out Emalyn's sleep patterns and needs for a while.  Tonight we decided to try giving the girls a little melotonin before bed to help them sleep through the night...so far, so good, but it's only 10:00 pm. 

During the day, we have had fun just playing around the house, unpacking and doing laundry (okay, not so fun).  We have almost finished all of the chores associated with two week long travel.  Adair continues to be a great and very sweet big sister.  Emalyn has been going to sleep in their room, but spending most of the night (after waking up) in our room.  Adair longs for her to be in their room all night.  She wants to see her the second she wakes up and has enjoyed showing her their toys and how they work.  Today they played instruments and went out to swing together.  Emalyn loved the noisy instruments, but wasn't too fond of swinging in the baby swing.  When I put her in my lap to swing a little, she felt more secure and seemed to enjoy it.

Playing the drum and bells.

The leader of the band.

Swinging with Mommy.

She continues to be very attached to me and doesn't like for me to get out of her site.  She isn't very fond of our cat, Eleanor, and screams when she comes into the room.  You can tell she is curious about her, but still afraid of her.  I imagine Eleanor is the first cat she's ever seen.  She loves to play with Adair, but has regressed greatly in allowing Hank to hold her and take care of her.  We are working to be intentional about her attachment to both of us, and we realize that her attachment to me should be foremost, but it is hard to see her basically rejecting her daddy. 

Please pray for her to rest, to learn to trust us more everyday and for her to improve daily in her fondness of Hank.  Pray also for Hank, as it is hard on him emotionally for her to cry and hide when he comes close.  Pray that we will love her, nuture her and care for her with wisdom and in just the way that she needs. 

Thank you for continuing to support us in this journey and transition.  If we don't respond to an email or phone call, forgive us.  We will eventually settle in and regain our ability to communicate well with friends.

Home Sweet Homecoming

On Wednesday morning, Hank and I awoke at 3:30 am to be ready to leave for the airport at 5:00 am.  We got dressed, packed up the things we had gotten out, dragged the girls out of bed and left for the airport with the girls still in their pajamas.  If you know me well, you know that is not my style, but they were exhausted and I just see the point in getting them up any ealier to dress them...so they traveled all the way to America (and through customs and immigration) in their pajamas.  Adair was beside herself...she loves to stay in her pajamas as much as possible.

Our flight left Hong Kong at 8:00 am.  From there we flew to Tokyo, Japan then to Atlanta and finally HOME!  By the time we arrived in Birmingham, we had been traveling for about 21 hours.  I have to brag on the girls.  They were both great on all of the flights.  When we boarded the flight to Atlanta, we started to feel closer to home.  Most of the flight attendants were American, and, of course, we got their attention right away.  They were all so kind.  They checked on us constantly and cattered to our every need.  One even had a ten year old daughter who was adopted from China.  We really felt God's presence as we traveled and are so thankful to Him for providing us with such wonderful people to see about us during our trip!  We were fortunate to have gotten bulkhead seats, so the girls had lots of play space on the floor and then when they went to sleep there was a bassinet that attached to the wall for Emalyn.  Out of the 12 hours we were in the air between Tokyo and Atlanta, the girls both slept about eight hours.  I can't say the same for Hank and me, but it was restful for us just watching the girls rest. 

When we touched ground in Atlanta, Emalyn officially became a United States citizen!  In Immigration, a nice officer moved us to the front of the line, we turned in Emalyn's brown envelope and were cleared right away.  We picked up our luggage, cleared customs, re-checked it and went back through security, freshened up (and changed the girls into "real" clothes) and went to wait for our final flight.  I cannot describe how excited we were to board that little plane to Birmingham.

When we finally arrived at home, we could never have anticipated the amazing greeting Emalyn would receive.  As we exited our terminal, we saw a large crowd gathered with sweet signs, balloons, cameras and gifts.  There was a mix of emotions...we were elated to be home, emotional, thrilled to introduce Emalyn to our amazing community of family and friends, and our hearts were full of thanksgiving to God!

Emalyn did amazingly well with the crowd.  She just took it all in and by the time we were getting ready to leave, she was smiling, laughing and wanting down with the other kids.  She's a strong little one and we are so thankful she is ours.  We can't wait for the point where you all can really get to know her and she can come to love you as much as we do.

To those of you who came out to greet our sweet angel, we cannot explain how much it meant to us to see your smiling faces there and I know, as Emalyn grows up, it will mean the world to her to see all of the people who had anticipated her homecoming and came to meet her.  I know there are many, many others who wanted to come and your schedules wouldn't allow it and that means so much, too.  We love you all and are forever grateful for all of the ways you have shown us support from the beginning to the end of this process and as we begin our lives together as a family of four (going on five).

Grace, Caroline and Carter waiting anxiously with their sweet signs.

A crowd of sweet friends.

Mom and Dad

More sweet friends waiting.

The proud grandparents.

Karen and Charlie (hiding behind the sign)

Finally home!

Emalyn and Mommy, so happy to be home!

Checking out her new friend, Ellen Kate.

Sweet friends from near and far.

Hank and Dad

Adair was so excited to see her friends, too!

Adair missed Caroline so much!

Meeting lots of new people.

Daddy, Emalyn and Mommy

A very, very special thank you to my sweet friend and Caroline's mommy, Alicia, who took these precious pictures for us.  Alicia, I cannot thank you enough for going out of your way to take these for us.  You are a precious friend and I am so thankful for you and your family. 

At the airport:  Mom and Dad; the Grants (Melanie, Jerry, Barrett and Benjamin); the Crabtrees (Blair, Phillips, Jack and Sam); the Bells (Mary Ellen, Kevin, Hadley and Ellen Kate); the Alismails (Meg, Basheer, Britton and Jacob); the Spillers (Loren and Bobby); the Firths (Josh, Jenny, Winston, Thatcher and Shep); the Blairs (Adam, Karen, Charlie and Jackson); the Densons (Julia, Joe and Larkin); the Woods (Melissa, Jared and Anne Fulton); the Johnstons (Clint Shannon, Hannah Grace and Knox); the Browns (Kelley, Caroline, Carter and Grace); the Campbells (Heather, Rich and Andrew; the Hawleys (Brad, Ellen, Webb and Marlen); the Boswells (Chuck and Jane); the Hales (Alicia, Josh, Caroline and Clark); the Tillerys (Hollie, Addyline, Anabelle and Mr. Steve); the Bercks (Stacie, Nathan and Karlye); the Giffens (Emily and Lia Kate); Robyn Kown; and the Leonards (Lindsey, Avery and Grant). 

Our Final Day in China

Our last few days in China were fairly uneventful.  On Tuesday, our last day in Guangzhou, we were supposed to go to the zoo, but the weather was rainy and both girls had developed runny noses, so we decided not to spend the day outside at the zoo.  Instead, we went back to Shimian Island to shop a little and happened across the famous red couch at the White Swan Hotel.  For many, many years, adopting families stayed at the White Swan and traditionally took pictures of their newly adopted children on the red couches in the lobby.  Currently, the White Swan is being renovated, so it's guest rooms are closed, but the lobby is still open.  I am so thankful we were able to grab a few pictures...if only I had had the girls Chinese dresses.

Family of four on Shimian Island.

Emalyn and Adair on the famous red couch.

Is this not the sweetest?  Love how these two already love each other!

Daddy, Emalyn, Adair and Mommy

After we shopped and took pictures, we headed back to finish packing.  At 4:00 pm we met our guide to get Emalyn's Visa and the all important "brown envelope", said our goodbyes and by 4:30 pm we were on the road to Hong Kong. 

Our family with our awesome guide, Aron, before leaving Guangzhou.

I had worried about this van ride, because, as I have said before, the driving is not exactly smooth and easy.  There's alot of stop and go and slamming onto the breaks.  Since I am prone to motion sickness, I wasn't looking forward to the three hour trip.  I have to say, it wasn't nearly as bad as I expected.  Our driver was very nice and fairly easy going as far as drivers in China go and we all survived.  We arrived in Hong Kong about 7:30 pm, grabbed some dinner and headed to bed.

Journey Home

Today we killed time shopping and packing before loading our van to Hong Kong.

We arrived in Hong Kong about 7:30 pm. We're heading to bed soon so that we can be up bright and early to catch our flight HOME!!!

I'll post more details and pictures from the final days of our trip soon, but for now I wanted to share airport information in case you'd like to come see our newest princess in person.

We arrive in Birmingham at 5:45 pm on Wednesday. We would love to see any of you who want to come there! We'll look for everyone at the bottom of the escalator into baggage claim from the Delta terminal. We cannot wait to be at that point.

As we prepare to re-enter our daily lives and main American society, I wanted to share a little about the bonding and attachment process. So far, Emalyn seems to be doing great. She's very attached to me already and never leaves my side, but to continue to foster that attachment, and to help her learn to trust us, the process is very important. I was going to write my own post about this, but my sweet friend, Rushton, just posted about the same topic and her words were so perfect, I decided to "borrow" them as opposed to writing my own. I've changed her daughter's name to Emalyn to help you connect better. Please don't think we are strange or rude, we just need up do what is best for our daughter...which means no holding or touching by "strangers" (even when they aren't strangers to us).

From Rushton's post:

Obviously, bonding with your adopted child looks different than it does with a biological child because she’s already 20 months old and barely knows us at all. Emalyn has faced challenges that God has spared Adair (and will spare Myla Grant) from going through.

Emalyn endured trauma in her life by being abandoned by the mother whose heartbeat and voice she knew for 9 months. Since that day, she has lived the first 20 months of her life without consistency from a variety of caretakers. While I am sure they have loved on her, I know there are times she has cried out in hunger and no one has answered where she has fussed over a dirty diaper and no one has changed her… you get the picture and can see how it is a vastly different picture than the early lives of a biological child. When Adair cried as a newborn, I ran to meet whatever need she had… so a pattern emerged… she cried and I would take care of her…. over and over which resulted in her attachment to me as her mommy. This may sound strange… how can a baby really know? But there are studies about actual connections that are made in your brain as a result of this cycle…

For Emalyn, this cycle was broken by her birth mother and was repeatedly broken when her cries went unanswered or even when they were answered but by a new stranger…

What does this mean for us? In a sense, we are going to have to “retrain” Emalyn's brain…. And convince her that we will meet her needs and we will never leave her.

We don’t know how long it will take for her to attach to us securely… but the reason I’m explaining this to you is because it will affect the way we interact with others for a period of time. We are asking for now that you please not hold her or pick her up. It is totally fine to talk to her when you see us out, just try and refrain from touching and loving on, her as hard as that may be. We just need her to understand the difference between family and strangers…. which is hard for a child who has no concept of a mother or father.

One of the greatest attachment tools is feeding. So for now, we will need to be the ones who give her bottles, meals and snacks. If we are playing at your house and she wants a snack. I ask that you give it to me so that I can give it to her. In a sense, this is replicating what she missed out on as a newborn but it may seem awkward to others because she is older now.

With all that said, we welcome anyone and everyone who wants to, to come to the airport to
welcome her home!!!!

Thank you for "praying us home"!


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Shopping and Consulate Appointment

Yesterday was so much fun! We had no official adoption business to take care of, so our guide took us shopping at the jade market, pearl market and for traditional Chinese dresses. We bought a strand of pearls for each daughter (including Myla Grant) that we plan to give them when they are much older and hope they will someday wear on their wedding days. Adair also picked out some lavender pearls for a bracelet for Emalyn and her. It's amazing the deals that you can get here on pearls. I'm anxious to see what they appraise for at home. Our estimate is that they are six or seven times more valuable than what we paid!

Millions of options!

Adair LOVED touching and straightening all the strands....she's definitely our girly-girl!

It was so neat to watch them turn loose strands of pearls into

necklaces with individual knots.  They have quite the technique!

One of the girls' finished necklaces and matching earrings.

One of Adair and Emalyn's bracelets with matching earrings.

At the jade market we bought a small jade heart to have made into a pendant for Emalyn when she's older since jade is such a big part of Chinese culture. We also found a great deal on traditional Chinese dresses, so we got Adair two and Emalyn two...matching, of course.

Emalyn's jade pendant.

The markets were really neat and a jewelry makers paradise. It wasn't a really nice place, but all of the store fronts had rows and rows of beads, metals, etc. You could find any and every type of jewelry supply there.

Inside the jewelry market.

After the market we walked down 9th street where there were tons of Chinese shoppers. It was a little like an outdoor mall with open storefronts. We saw lots of traditional Chinese lanterns on the street and many true Chinese dishes on street cars and in restaurants.

Crowded street.

Notice the traditional Chinese lanters.

The Rooster Man...apparently he's been around for 30 years and is essentially famous in Guangzhou.

Meat...

More meat...

For dinner last night, we met our new friends George, Sharron and Alexis for dinner at Lucy's on Shimian Island. It was a treat to visit a place everyone who has adopted from here visited, especially those that came when the White Swan was the common place to stay. The food was better than most of what we've had and the company was great! Adair fell asleep in the stroller as we walked to dinner, so she missed the meal, but Emalyn had fun. She wasn't fond of the dishes we ordered, so she had leftover fried rice that we had with us instead. After dinner we stopped by a local store and bought a set of chop sticks for each of us with our names on them and a few small gifts.

Today was our consulate appointment.  It sounds very formal and official and important, but it didn't really feel like that at all.  Basically, we took an oath to swear that (to the best of our knowledge) all of our forms and documents were accurate and legitimate and then turned in some forms to finalize Emalyn's appeal for US citizenship.  The best part of the consulate appointment is that 24 hours afterwards, you recieve your child's visa to travel to the US and are officially done with the business necessary in China and can head home. Yay!  We are so close!

After our consulate appointment we picked up some snacks for the trip home, grabbed lunch and stopped for ice cream.  Emalyn had her first taste of ice cream and wasn't too sure what to make of it.  She seemed to like the taste, but couldn't figure out why it was cold.  They don't eat much cold food here, especially at Emalyn's age, so it's no surprise that she had mixed feelings about it.

Why is this food cold?!?

Okay, maybe it was good!

Loving her ice cream!

 

We did a little packing this afternoon during nap time, then played for while before heading out for the Pearl River cruise.  Guangzhou has many bright, colorful lights so it was fun to see them from the river.  It was very cold and rainy, but the girls really enjoyed this outting.  They both stood in the window for the majority of the ride looking out at the lights on the buildings and bridges.

Loving the lights.

Adair didn't mind a little rain to get a better look.

Mommy, Adair and Emalyn.

Multicolored television tower.

Daddy, Adair and Emalyn.

Close up of the tower.  Isn't it cool?

Tomorrow we will spend the majority of the day here and then take a van to Hong Kong late tomorrow afternoon before flying home on Wednesday morning.  I can't believe tonight is our last night in China!  Emalyn will be in her home in her own bed in just a couple of days! 

She continues to do well and seems to be coming out of her shell more and more each day.  She is a very happy little girl and blows our minds every single day.  She is giving us alot of eye contact and reaches for me constantly, especially when someone else tries to talk to her or pick her up.  We are making great progress in the right direction.  Hopefully our trip home and settling in at home will help her continue to bond and to trust us.  Thank you for continuing to pray for her, Adair and for us.  Your support and prayers make all of the difference.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone