Journey Home

Today we killed time shopping and packing before loading our van to Hong Kong.

We arrived in Hong Kong about 7:30 pm. We're heading to bed soon so that we can be up bright and early to catch our flight HOME!!!

I'll post more details and pictures from the final days of our trip soon, but for now I wanted to share airport information in case you'd like to come see our newest princess in person.

We arrive in Birmingham at 5:45 pm on Wednesday. We would love to see any of you who want to come there! We'll look for everyone at the bottom of the escalator into baggage claim from the Delta terminal. We cannot wait to be at that point.

As we prepare to re-enter our daily lives and main American society, I wanted to share a little about the bonding and attachment process. So far, Emalyn seems to be doing great. She's very attached to me already and never leaves my side, but to continue to foster that attachment, and to help her learn to trust us, the process is very important. I was going to write my own post about this, but my sweet friend, Rushton, just posted about the same topic and her words were so perfect, I decided to "borrow" them as opposed to writing my own. I've changed her daughter's name to Emalyn to help you connect better. Please don't think we are strange or rude, we just need up do what is best for our daughter...which means no holding or touching by "strangers" (even when they aren't strangers to us).

From Rushton's post:

Obviously, bonding with your adopted child looks different than it does with a biological child because she’s already 20 months old and barely knows us at all. Emalyn has faced challenges that God has spared Adair (and will spare Myla Grant) from going through.

Emalyn endured trauma in her life by being abandoned by the mother whose heartbeat and voice she knew for 9 months. Since that day, she has lived the first 20 months of her life without consistency from a variety of caretakers. While I am sure they have loved on her, I know there are times she has cried out in hunger and no one has answered where she has fussed over a dirty diaper and no one has changed her… you get the picture and can see how it is a vastly different picture than the early lives of a biological child. When Adair cried as a newborn, I ran to meet whatever need she had… so a pattern emerged… she cried and I would take care of her…. over and over which resulted in her attachment to me as her mommy. This may sound strange… how can a baby really know? But there are studies about actual connections that are made in your brain as a result of this cycle…

For Emalyn, this cycle was broken by her birth mother and was repeatedly broken when her cries went unanswered or even when they were answered but by a new stranger…

What does this mean for us? In a sense, we are going to have to “retrain” Emalyn's brain…. And convince her that we will meet her needs and we will never leave her.

We don’t know how long it will take for her to attach to us securely… but the reason I’m explaining this to you is because it will affect the way we interact with others for a period of time. We are asking for now that you please not hold her or pick her up. It is totally fine to talk to her when you see us out, just try and refrain from touching and loving on, her as hard as that may be. We just need her to understand the difference between family and strangers…. which is hard for a child who has no concept of a mother or father.

One of the greatest attachment tools is feeding. So for now, we will need to be the ones who give her bottles, meals and snacks. If we are playing at your house and she wants a snack. I ask that you give it to me so that I can give it to her. In a sense, this is replicating what she missed out on as a newborn but it may seem awkward to others because she is older now.

With all that said, we welcome anyone and everyone who wants to, to come to the airport to
welcome her home!!!!

Thank you for "praying us home"!


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Shopping and Consulate Appointment

Yesterday was so much fun! We had no official adoption business to take care of, so our guide took us shopping at the jade market, pearl market and for traditional Chinese dresses. We bought a strand of pearls for each daughter (including Myla Grant) that we plan to give them when they are much older and hope they will someday wear on their wedding days. Adair also picked out some lavender pearls for a bracelet for Emalyn and her. It's amazing the deals that you can get here on pearls. I'm anxious to see what they appraise for at home. Our estimate is that they are six or seven times more valuable than what we paid!

Millions of options!

Adair LOVED touching and straightening all the strands....she's definitely our girly-girl!

It was so neat to watch them turn loose strands of pearls into

necklaces with individual knots.  They have quite the technique!

One of the girls' finished necklaces and matching earrings.

One of Adair and Emalyn's bracelets with matching earrings.

At the jade market we bought a small jade heart to have made into a pendant for Emalyn when she's older since jade is such a big part of Chinese culture. We also found a great deal on traditional Chinese dresses, so we got Adair two and Emalyn two...matching, of course.

Emalyn's jade pendant.

The markets were really neat and a jewelry makers paradise. It wasn't a really nice place, but all of the store fronts had rows and rows of beads, metals, etc. You could find any and every type of jewelry supply there.

Inside the jewelry market.

After the market we walked down 9th street where there were tons of Chinese shoppers. It was a little like an outdoor mall with open storefronts. We saw lots of traditional Chinese lanterns on the street and many true Chinese dishes on street cars and in restaurants.

Crowded street.

Notice the traditional Chinese lanters.

The Rooster Man...apparently he's been around for 30 years and is essentially famous in Guangzhou.

Meat...

More meat...

For dinner last night, we met our new friends George, Sharron and Alexis for dinner at Lucy's on Shimian Island. It was a treat to visit a place everyone who has adopted from here visited, especially those that came when the White Swan was the common place to stay. The food was better than most of what we've had and the company was great! Adair fell asleep in the stroller as we walked to dinner, so she missed the meal, but Emalyn had fun. She wasn't fond of the dishes we ordered, so she had leftover fried rice that we had with us instead. After dinner we stopped by a local store and bought a set of chop sticks for each of us with our names on them and a few small gifts.

Today was our consulate appointment.  It sounds very formal and official and important, but it didn't really feel like that at all.  Basically, we took an oath to swear that (to the best of our knowledge) all of our forms and documents were accurate and legitimate and then turned in some forms to finalize Emalyn's appeal for US citizenship.  The best part of the consulate appointment is that 24 hours afterwards, you recieve your child's visa to travel to the US and are officially done with the business necessary in China and can head home. Yay!  We are so close!

After our consulate appointment we picked up some snacks for the trip home, grabbed lunch and stopped for ice cream.  Emalyn had her first taste of ice cream and wasn't too sure what to make of it.  She seemed to like the taste, but couldn't figure out why it was cold.  They don't eat much cold food here, especially at Emalyn's age, so it's no surprise that she had mixed feelings about it.

Why is this food cold?!?

Okay, maybe it was good!

Loving her ice cream!

 

We did a little packing this afternoon during nap time, then played for while before heading out for the Pearl River cruise.  Guangzhou has many bright, colorful lights so it was fun to see them from the river.  It was very cold and rainy, but the girls really enjoyed this outting.  They both stood in the window for the majority of the ride looking out at the lights on the buildings and bridges.

Loving the lights.

Adair didn't mind a little rain to get a better look.

Mommy, Adair and Emalyn.

Multicolored television tower.

Daddy, Adair and Emalyn.

Close up of the tower.  Isn't it cool?

Tomorrow we will spend the majority of the day here and then take a van to Hong Kong late tomorrow afternoon before flying home on Wednesday morning.  I can't believe tonight is our last night in China!  Emalyn will be in her home in her own bed in just a couple of days! 

She continues to do well and seems to be coming out of her shell more and more each day.  She is a very happy little girl and blows our minds every single day.  She is giving us alot of eye contact and reaches for me constantly, especially when someone else tries to talk to her or pick her up.  We are making great progress in the right direction.  Hopefully our trip home and settling in at home will help her continue to bond and to trust us.  Thank you for continuing to pray for her, Adair and for us.  Your support and prayers make all of the difference.

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Guangzhou

We arrived late last night in Guangzhou. Our travels were interesting and trying, neither of which we can blame on our newest daughter. Today, Hank and I can look at each other and laugh, but yesterday was a different story.

We met our guide about 3:00 pm to head to the airport for our 5:50 pm flight. We loaded up all of our luggage...six suitcases to be exact...and were off. When we got to the airport our guide helped us check in and check our luggage. One strange thing about in country flights here is that if you are over the weight limit of 44 pounds per ticketed passenger you have to go to a different counter to pay the overage fee. We, of course, were over that limit, so we went to pay and when the lady behind the counter saw my baby belly she went off in Chinese to our guide about it. We have no idea what she was saying (we didn't ask and our guide didn't offer to tell us), but she after a few minutes of jabbering our guide turned to me and said, "how many months pregnant you are?". I told her and whatever she followed up with settled the lady down and we were finally able to move on to security.

Saying good bye to Helen before going through security.

There, we ran into our next set of problems. First, they took Emalyn right out of my arms to pat me down after we'd already been scanned, which already upset us. Then, as they scanned our luggage they saw the liquid medicine in our bags and, through pieced English and hand signals, told us it would have to be checked. This all while Emalyn is whimpering, Adair has to use the potty and 20 Chinese people are standing, staring, pointing, laughing at and talking about Adair. The checking of the bag wasn't a big deal, but then they decided that the porcelain that was also in our bag couldn't be taken to check and I would have to carry it. Now, let me explain what I already had so that Hank could go back to check the other bag...Emalyn was in the stroller, Adair was walking with her backpack, I was pulling our other rolling suitcase and carrying a large tote bag. I would not and could not carry the porcelain. Besides that I didn't want us to have to carry a loose box of porcelain onto the plane with all of the other stuff we had and it didn't make sense to me that we couldn't check it. It was up to us if we wanted to risk it getting broken, right? Finally, after they saw my frustration they let it go and Hank went to check the bag, with the porcelain in it. I rush Adair to the bathroom and head to the gate. Next thing I know I see Hank coming, with the suitcase. He had found out guide and she had insisted it would cost too much to check the suitcase and told him he needed to go get Adair's tiny backpack to check the medicine in. I didn't like that idea one bit. First, because Adair was going to be upset without her backpack. Second, because it wasn't going to cost more than $20 to check the bag...a penny in the bucket at this point. And, third, because it seemed to me like a child size backpack was much more likely to get lost in the luggage compartment than our suitcase and we might really need that medicine. All that to say, Hank headed back with the same suitcase against the advice of our guide. Once that was finally worked out, it was almost time to board.

Emalyn's first flight.

The flight was extremely turbulent, no surprise because the clouds were really low and weather had been iffy, but this was the worse than any I'd ever experienced. Emalyn did great despite the rocky ride and Adair actually thought it was fun...I, on the other hand, was terrified.  When we finally landed, we were the last ones off of the plane (the Chinese people are not very good at waiting their turn), and after I took Adair to the bathroom we realized we didn't have the camera bag.  Hank ran right back to the plane and couldn't find it.  The flight attendants and cleaning crew were the only ones on board and all claimed they hadn't seen it.  We were shocked because it had been less than five minutes and, like I said, we were the last passengers off the plane.  We were sick over loosing the camera, but even more so the pictures that hadn't been downloaded and the fact that we would have to buy another camera to capture the rest of our trip.  We headed to baggage claim and hoped our guide might be able to help track it down at a "lost and found" or something.  We picked up our luggage (which had already been gathered and put on a cart thanks to two sweet families we had flown with from Nanchang) and found our guide, Aron. We told her what happened and she immediately went to work.  She is a total rock star!  She definitely saved the day!  She convinced them to find our camera and bring it to baggage claim.  So, after an hour of her pushing and us waiting we were reunited with our camera and memories. 

After that excitement we were taken to the Garden Hotel, which has become our home for the next several days.  It is a beautiful hotel right in the middle of the city.  The inside is elaborate and adorned with fresh flowers.  And our room is wonderful with two rooms separated by a door...much more conducive to nap time and bed time.  We settled in a bit and headed straight to bed.  Emalyn amazed me!  She went right to sleep and slept great all night.  She woke up happy and smiling this morning, too!

Our little angel hasn't skipped a beat yet.  She is learning to trust us and seems happy and relieved when she wakes up and sees our faces.  We are so proud of her and so, so, so very thankful she is ours!

This morning , after breakfast with waffles and syrup (Adair's favorite), we had her Visa picture taken and she had her medical exam.  I really think the medical exam was more scary and upsetting to her than any other event...other than gotcha day and the adoption day pictures.  At the clinic, they weighed and measured her, checked her ears and throat, and listened to her heart and lungs.  She weighs 21.6 pounds and is 30.7" tall.  Thankfully, she didn't have to have any shots or the TB test, which I am sure would have added greatly to the trauma.  Immediately after we finished and she was back in my arms, she calmed down.  She dug around in our bag enough to find a banana that Hank had grabbed after breakfast and ate the entire thing, right out of the peeling like a big girl.  It was adorable to watch!

Entrance to the clinic: Examination Room for Adopted Children

Mommy, Emalyn and Adair waiting for Emalyn's check up...Adair's question, "how will they know not to check me out?"  Our answer..."Sweetie, you're not Chinese."  :-)

Sitting to be weighed after she refused to stand on the scale and kept jumping

off into my arms. Not a fan of being put down in a strange place. 

Definitely a good sign for attachment, but I hate seeing her cry!

Finding her length and temperature...still screaming.

(You can't see me in this picture, but I am holding her hand.)

Getting her ears checked.  Not quite as scary in Mommy's lap.

Calming down after finishing.

Enjoying a banana right out of the peeling.  This was the first time for us to see this,

but she was a pro, so I am sure she had had a banana before.

Once back at the hotel, we filled out a little paperwork with Aron and she gathered some of our official documents, we Face Timed with my parents and then we walked around the block to grab lunch at a restaurant Aron had recommended.  It was delicious and I was quite proud of Hank for choosing, ordering and paying when no one in the restaurant spoke a bit of English.  We had spring rolls, fried eggplant and a pork dish with vermicelli.  Adair wasn't super fond of the food, but Emalyn loved it.  She gobbled up noodles, eggplant and a spring roll and was covered with food by the end of our meal, but very happy. 

Enjoying our first lunch that we managed outside of our hotel by ourselves.

This picture doesn't do it justice, but she was covered in noodles.

After lunch we went back to the hotel for nap time.  Nap time continues to be more difficult for her than night time.  She went down pretty easily, but woke up 30 minutes later whimpering.  After I held her for a while and put her back down she was good, but when she woke up she was sad and still whimpering.  I know napping will get easier as she continues to learn that she can trust us, that we aren't going anywhere and that we are going to love her whether she's happy, sad, angry, silly.

Tonight we walked around the corner to a Mexican restaurant.  I have to say, I was skeptical, but we just wanted something different from all the fried rice and noodles.  It was really good.  Hank, Adair and I loved it.  Emalyn, on the other hand, was not a fan.  She tasted everything on our table and spit it all out, with the exception of a chip and the apple that we brought with us.  Over dinner we kept telling her, she would eventually learn to like Mexican food because we make a weekly trip to Mr. Carlos's (LaBamba) restaurant near our house.  On the way home we stopped and picked up some fried rice and she ate three plates full.  She was very feisty over dinner and as we walked.  I told Hank that I think that is her hungry personality.  I really hope we can find some new things she likes soon after getting home.  I think she will do well with vegetables and fruit and I can always make eggs and rice, but I look forward to seeing what "American" and "Southern" foods she takes to first.  She definitely likes strong flavors, so I may have to up my spice collection to satisfy her...quite the opposite of most children her age who typically like bland foods.

_______________________

We'll it is actually morning here now.  I started this post last night and couldn't stay awake to finish adding pictures and get it posted.  We had a good night.  The girls and Hank are still snoozing.  Today we are going shopping with our guide.  The two places I am most looking forward to are the jade market and pearl market.  I am also excited to get some traditional Chinese dresses for the girls.  Adair has already requested purple.  I think I made Hank a little nervous yesterday when I asked our guide how much money we should have exchanged for the shopping trip...and I think he got more nervous when she said that the pearl market would take a credit card.  Hopefully we will find some good deals and sweet keepsakes from our trip.

It is Sunday here and we are excited that we can now say we will be home THIS week!  In two short nights we will take a van to Hong Kong, spend the night and fly home the next morning!  We are loving Guangzhou so far...it is very Western friendly, easy to navigate, many people here speak English, and the food is great...but, we can't wait to touch ground in Alabama!

Thank you for "praying us home" as one friend said in an email yesterday!  We feel your prayers and they are being answered in more ways than we can count.  God is so good and He is here!  You're encouragement through email, blog comments and texts are helping to sustain us.  Know that God is using you to work in our lives and in the life of a precious little girl who is an orphan no more!  We love you all!

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The Last Few Days

First of all, I am sorry for the lack of posts these last few days! We've been busy enjoying our new daughter and hanging out with our friends who came to visit. By the time the girls go to bed, I'm to sleepy to make sense!

Wednesday was day seven since leaving home, it's hard to believe so much has happened since that day! We were so excited to see our friends, Alan, Shannon, Cameron, Laura Cate, and William Wednesday morning. They arrived after the girls and I were asleep, so we missed them then, but boy were they a site for sore eyes the next morning. Familiar. American. English speaking.

We had breakfast, where Emalyn continued to exhibit her love for steamed eggs, then went to visit the Pavillion. Hank and I are still getting the hang of dressing two girls in the mornings, especially when baths are involved, so we were, of course, late to meet our guide, Helen, for our tour. Helen is very patient with us, but not very forth coming with information. After we arrived late, she told us there was a show at 11:00 am. The show that Helen was so anxious for us to get to (that she failed to tell us about ahead of time) was neat, but only about five minutes long. As soon as we walked in the door all 20-30 Chinese people in the room turned to look at us and started pointing to Adair and Laura Cate. Many even got up and walked over to them. It was uncomfortable, to say the least, to watch as strangers, speaking a different language, stroke your child's hair and put their arm around her! Hank was holding Emalyn, so I finally pulled Adair into my lap into get it to stop. I really didn't want to be rude, but how much can one little girl take? Ive said this before, but it really just disturbs me and baffles me to imagine what they could be doing with all of the pictures they take of Americans? I really just don't get what purpose they could find for pictures of strangers, especially when I struggle with what to do with all I have of those I love. I digress, but I will say many of the people were quite courteous to give up their seats (on the four inch wide bench) for a few of us to sit. I don't mean to make the Chinese people sound rude, because that's not it, they just have different ways about them and are fascinated by things I can't understand.

Anyway, the show was neat. If I understood correctly, the Pavilion was built by an Emperor as a place for celebrations and the show was meant to depict one that may have been done for him during one if his many parties. It was neat to experience that part of this provinces culture. There was singing, dancing with Chinese fans and instruments that we'd never seen before. The costumes were elaborate and beautiful.

After the show we walked through the Pavilion level by level to see the art and architecture of it. It's six levels high, the first being three or four stories up, so on a clear day you can see the old city of Nanchang and the new city. It was very foggy while we were there, so we couldn't see very far. (I'm actually beginning to wonder how often they have a clear day, though. Since we arrived we've only seen the sun once, briefly. Every other day it has been overcast and rainy. There's also a lot smog, which I'm sure contributes to the fogginess.)

The old city from the top of the Pavilion.

Elaborate details of the architecture.

Cameron and Adair

Part of the Pavilion from the top.  I hate I didn't get a picture

of the outside of the actualy Pavilion because of the rain,

but it was level after level like this.

Hank, Alan, Cameron, Laura Cate, Adair, Emalyn and William

Bells and a Buddah

Painting of story described as similar to Sleeping Beauty.

Carving of a young 16 year old boy who wrote a very famous poem about the Pavilion.

As we got ready to leave it started pouring down rain. We, of course, didn't have our umbrella, so I didn't get any pictures of the outside of the Pavilion or the group picture I wanted, but here are a few from the top.

After Helen dropped us off at our hotel, we walked to a traditional Chinese lunch. It was so yummy and wonderful to have dining companions who, not only, speak the language, but are also versed in the culture. It was fun to finally have the lazy susan meal you expect in China. We had several great dishes...all beef and vegetables I might add. Adair and Emalyn's favorite was the cauliflower. Adair also really enjoyed the soup.

Alan and Shannon did mention several times that we certainly aren't missing out on the true Chinese culture here on Nanchang. Apparently this is a very typical non-Westernized city. And I'm truly glad we've gotten to experience it.

After nap time, we met our new group of friends and walked in the rain for another traditional Chinese meal. Alan and Shannon were gracious hosts to order for and tolerate all of us. We enjoyed another lazy susan meal and then walked back in the rain.

When we woke up yesterday it was raining, again. Helen had plans for us to go to a park to "stroll" (apparently you can't walk, much less run, on the grass here, so people just stroll around the sidewalks in the parks), but with the poor weather, we opted to stay in. We had a great lazy morning just playing in our room with our friends. Hank and Alan walked around to corner to pick up lunch at McDonald's and we all just visited and enjoyed watching the kids play. Emalyn did really well (she's most comfortable in our hotel room) and loved watching and trying to join the big kids.

Nap time yesterday was trying. Hank took Adair for ice cream and Emalyn, at first, just wasn't sure where they went, so she couldn't settle down. When she finally did go to sleep, she started crying in her sleep. I ended up holding her for the majority of her nap, but I don't think she was fully rested when she woke up. I imagine the crying was a form of grieving, but I can't say for sure. She was never fully awake, so I guess she was dreaming and I can only imagine what about.

After nap time we venture out by taxi to Pizza Hut. The cab ride was an experience in and of itself. It was a whole new way to experience the crazy driving here. Our driver was all over the crowded road and constantly on and off the gas/break peddle. I'm glad we only went a few miles, otherwise, I know I would have been sick! Pizza Hut was fun! I know you're thinking, "why go to Pizza Hut when in China?", but it was very different from the ones in the states. They've made themselves very high end here and the menu offerings are strange by American standards. For instance, they serve fried rice with octopus and put hot dig slices on pizza. One funny thing is that they were sold out of cheese pizza (obviously they're not making them fresh), so to get cheese only for the kids, Alan had to order another pizza and tell them each individual item to leave off. Just telling them, take everything off and just leave the cheese wouldn't work. Isn't that crazy? Apparently they're not very flexible when it comes to how you order food. They just take it any way you give it, so if you order something specific it really throws them off. We did have fun though and, even with all the interesting menu options, we ended up with one cheese pizza and one pepperoni. Oh, and I might add, Emalyn didn't eat pizza. She had fried rice, again. poor child, you would think she would tire of fried rice, but it hasn't happened yet

Good morning!

Playtime in Adair's favorite spot.

Today, we had breakfast with Alan, Shannon and the kids and did a little porcelain shopping. This province
is known for their porcelain, so we thought that would be a good keepsake for Emalyn when she's older. We found a beautiful jade green tea set for her and another, colorful set for our family.

Clinging to Mommy's leg.

Daddy, Mommy, Adair and Emalyn

Emalyn, Adair, Cameron, William, and Laura Cate

Sweet sisters

Adair loving on Emalyn

Alan, Shannon, Cameron, Laura Cate, William, Mommy, Daddy, Adair and Emalyn

This evening we head to Guangzhou. We are SO ready to move on from Nanchang. There will be lots of firsts today...first plane ride, first big transition to a new place, etc.

Emalyn seems to be doing so well that we are nervous about when she will grieve and all that's happening will really set in. Please pray for that time...for us to be prepared to handle it with wisdom and grace and for her to become stronger and more deeply attached through it.


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