Journey Home

Today we killed time shopping and packing before loading our van to Hong Kong.

We arrived in Hong Kong about 7:30 pm. We're heading to bed soon so that we can be up bright and early to catch our flight HOME!!!

I'll post more details and pictures from the final days of our trip soon, but for now I wanted to share airport information in case you'd like to come see our newest princess in person.

We arrive in Birmingham at 5:45 pm on Wednesday. We would love to see any of you who want to come there! We'll look for everyone at the bottom of the escalator into baggage claim from the Delta terminal. We cannot wait to be at that point.

As we prepare to re-enter our daily lives and main American society, I wanted to share a little about the bonding and attachment process. So far, Emalyn seems to be doing great. She's very attached to me already and never leaves my side, but to continue to foster that attachment, and to help her learn to trust us, the process is very important. I was going to write my own post about this, but my sweet friend, Rushton, just posted about the same topic and her words were so perfect, I decided to "borrow" them as opposed to writing my own. I've changed her daughter's name to Emalyn to help you connect better. Please don't think we are strange or rude, we just need up do what is best for our daughter...which means no holding or touching by "strangers" (even when they aren't strangers to us).

From Rushton's post:

Obviously, bonding with your adopted child looks different than it does with a biological child because she’s already 20 months old and barely knows us at all. Emalyn has faced challenges that God has spared Adair (and will spare Myla Grant) from going through.

Emalyn endured trauma in her life by being abandoned by the mother whose heartbeat and voice she knew for 9 months. Since that day, she has lived the first 20 months of her life without consistency from a variety of caretakers. While I am sure they have loved on her, I know there are times she has cried out in hunger and no one has answered where she has fussed over a dirty diaper and no one has changed her… you get the picture and can see how it is a vastly different picture than the early lives of a biological child. When Adair cried as a newborn, I ran to meet whatever need she had… so a pattern emerged… she cried and I would take care of her…. over and over which resulted in her attachment to me as her mommy. This may sound strange… how can a baby really know? But there are studies about actual connections that are made in your brain as a result of this cycle…

For Emalyn, this cycle was broken by her birth mother and was repeatedly broken when her cries went unanswered or even when they were answered but by a new stranger…

What does this mean for us? In a sense, we are going to have to “retrain” Emalyn's brain…. And convince her that we will meet her needs and we will never leave her.

We don’t know how long it will take for her to attach to us securely… but the reason I’m explaining this to you is because it will affect the way we interact with others for a period of time. We are asking for now that you please not hold her or pick her up. It is totally fine to talk to her when you see us out, just try and refrain from touching and loving on, her as hard as that may be. We just need her to understand the difference between family and strangers…. which is hard for a child who has no concept of a mother or father.

One of the greatest attachment tools is feeding. So for now, we will need to be the ones who give her bottles, meals and snacks. If we are playing at your house and she wants a snack. I ask that you give it to me so that I can give it to her. In a sense, this is replicating what she missed out on as a newborn but it may seem awkward to others because she is older now.

With all that said, we welcome anyone and everyone who wants to, to come to the airport to
welcome her home!!!!

Thank you for "praying us home"!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone