LOA...Finally!

As I logged in to write this post, I realized how long it has been since I blogged about this process.  Sorry to keep you waiting, but that is exactly what we have been doing for the last 99 days to be exact!  We finally received LOA (Letter of Acceptance) today!  I have never been so thankful for one little piece of paper before.  LOA is a huge step toward travel and toward bringing Emalyn home.  The next several approvals should come fairly quickly and we should be headed to China in February or March. 

My doctor will allow me to travel through the end of February, so we are praying for God's will and guidance through the next steps.  We know that if it is His will for me to be there, He will move the mountains that seem to be in the way, but we also know that He sees the bigger picture and knows what is best for our family.  All that to say, we are trusting Him whether I get to go to China or not.

We covet your prayers as we continue on the road to our second daughter!  It really seems surreal to think that she will be home with us in just a few short months!  We are thankful for her little life and absolutely cannot wait to welcome her into our family.

Update on Emalyn!

Well, after two long months of waiting and several different attempts, we finally received an update on our sweet Emalyn!  Just look how much she has changed in five months!

Emalyn at 11 months

Emalyn at 16 months

As soon as we accepted Emalyn's referral we requested an update through our agency, but after a long wait we decided to try getting an update through a company called Lady Bugs and Love.  Lady Bugs and Love offers a service known as the orphanage phone call.  Essentially, they have a Chinese woman named Angela who has relationships with many of the orphanages and makes a phone call to request updated pictures and answers to questions.  Her success rate is 95%, so we thought it was worth a try.  I sent the request on Sunday, October 23 and we received our update on Thursday, October 27.  It was such a blessing to hear from Emalyn, to see her little face again and learn a little more about her.  Angela is an angel and we are so thankful for the work she is doing to help families stay in touch, as much as possible, with their little ones they long to bring home.

So, here is the update that we received.  I am including it here exactly as it was sent to us and will interject my comments below some of the nanny's comments.

2)  What are her current measurements?  Please include her height, weight, head circumference and chest circumference.
Height: 73cm; Weight: 9kg; Head:42.5cm; Chest:42.7cm; Foot: 14cm.

Height: 28.7"; Weight: 19.8 lbs; Head 16.7"; Chest: 16.8"; Foot: 5.5"

Based on my research among my friends with children Emalyn's age and what I can remember about Adair, I am surprised at how big she is.  Now, don't misunderstand me, she isn't big, but she is not as far below average as we expected based on her stats at referral.

3)  Is she pulling up, standing and walking?
She can walk by one hand hold someone. She can pull up and standing by holding onto something.

4)  How many teeth does she have?
Upper 8 and lower 10.

It is out of the ordinary for me to see a 16 months old with this many teeth.  Adair only had two teeth by the time she was 16 months old.

5)  Does she have a ridge in her gum behind her cleft lip or any other additional needs related to her cleft lip?  Does her cleft lip seem to bother her at all? 

She only has cleft lip. Doesn’t have tooth behind her cleft lip.

6)  Is she starting to talk?  If so, what words can she say?

She is not talking yet. She just burbles. We don’t understand what she’s saying.

7)  What is her personality like?  Is she a happy baby and well liked? 

She is very stubborn. She bites others. All the children in her room have been bit by her. She is a naughty baby.

I have to be honest, this statement really bothered me when I first read it.  In fact, it brought tears to my eyes.  Not because I am worried about her personality or her biting, but because it made me feel like she is not loved or even liked by the nannies and others at her orphanage.  It has been our prayer since we started this process that someone would love our daughter and she would love someone, and this statement, especially the part about her being naughty, really made me question how she was being treated. 

In the days since receiving this update, I have learned more about Chinese culture and had a chance to really process this statement and I am not as concerned now.  One thing I learned is that in the Chinese culture, naughty doesn't mean what it means to us (bad), it means mischievous.  I have also learned that, when you ask about a child, Chinese people are most likely going to tell you something negative about them, something that they need to work on, rather than tell you something positive or likable about them.  I also have to remember that stubbornness and being mischievous and curious are normal traits of most an 16 month old.  My heart tells me that if she is mischievous, curious and into everything she is likely getting alot of attention from her nannies, and that is a very good thing. 

So, I have to remind myself not to worry about things I cannot change right now, however, I would still welcome and covet your prayers for Emalyn, that she is being treated well and that God would surround her with His love and protection.  I know that He will provide loving arms to wrap around her, be them His own or her nanny's.

8)  Does she have her own crib or does she share a crib with another baby?

She has her own crib.

9)  Is she a good sleeper?  Does she have a favorite blanket or toy that she sleeps with?  If so, can you tell us about it?

She sleeps well. No special habit.

10)  What is her favorite toy to play with or activity throughout the day?

She likes to watch TV, play with toys, blocks and bells.

It is a very strange feeling to know so little about someone, yet care so deeply for them.  We are thankful for every bit of information that comes our way about our daughter, be it large or small.  Each little thing helps us imagine her, pray for her and love her better.

We would also covet your prayers over our paperwork and travel dates.  We are still waiting for LOA which roughly determines when we will travel.  We are praying that we will travel soon enough that I will be able to go to China, but there is a chance that I may not.  We are trusting God and we KNOW that He has a perfect plan for every step of this process, but we are asking and believing that will include Mommy, Daddy and Adair traveling together to bring home our little girl (little sister). 

Thank you for your faithfulness to pray for us and for walking this road with us.  We appreciate your friendship and love more than you know!

Powers, Party of Five

On Saturday, August 20, Hank and I got the shock of a lifetime...we discovered we are expecting our third child on April 22, 2012!  From that very second, we knew that the baby I am carrying was our third child.  We never desired to change directions or deviate from the path we were on to our Emalyn! 

I'll back up a little and give you the full story.  That Saturday was two days before my 30th birthday and I had already received the best gift when we found out we were DTC and would soon be matched with our daughter.  (If it's possible to receive two best gifts, this was definitely my year.)

That day Hank and I had joked about getting pregnant during this process and the idea got into my head.  I started trying to count days and was reminded of two quick bouts with nausea the week before.  With margaritas on the menu for my birthday dinner that night, I decided I should take a quick test, just to settle my mind.  Much to my surprise it was positive...immediately!  When I showed it to Hank, he sat down on the floor, speechless.  Soon after, we both looked at each other and burst into laughter.  Of course, this is how God would write our story!

The next day, I began starting to gather information.  For those of you who know me well, you know I am a doer and a controller, so had to start figuring out time lines, bedrooms, etc.  I emailed our agency and requested a meeting, called my doctor and insisted they squeeze me in on Monday and thus began the planning. 

On Monday my doctor settled my nerves by confirming that I could travel to China through 32 weeks (the end of February), assuming this pregnancy is as "vanilla" (his word) as my pregnancy with Adair. 

On Tuesday, I met with our social workers.  We knew there was a possibility that they would want us to put the adoption on hold just given the potential close arrival of Emalyn and our newborn into our home.  They brought up some valid points for us to think through, asked us to pray over our decision for the next week and let them know where we stood on Sunday.  At that point, they, along with the Director of International Adoption (who was out of town for the week and needed to be a part of the decision), would make a decision.  We knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that we wanted to proceed and we believed with all of our hearts that that was God's command for us, but we took time to pray and seek Him over that week.  It was SO hard to wait, but God used that week to confirm our decision.

That Sunday night, August 28, we sent a long email to our social workers and expressed our desire to proceed, our belief that God was commanding us to proceed and practical reasons why we could make it work.  The very next day, Amy called and let me know we could proceed.  We were thrilled with the news and then she followed up with more good news...we were logged in and the shared list was coming out that very night.  She was careful to manage our expectations that we would be low on the list having just gotten logged in, so we may not get a referral, but there was a chance our daughter could be on that list.

The next morning, she called and the first words out of her mouth were, "are you sitting down?".  I knew immediately she had a file for us.  Within in five minutes of hanging up the phone, Hank and I saw the face of our second child...our sweet Emalyn.

We have experienced God in so many amazing ways throughout this process.  It has been so hard to keep this pregnancy a secret, because this baby's story is so interwoven with Emalyn's story.  We believe with all of our hearts that God has an amazing plan for our family and we are thankful that He is revealing it little by little. 

We covet your prayers as we prepare for our family to expand from three to five in a short 3-4 months time span.  Please pray that LOA comes quickly and we are able to travel as soon as possible.  Not only are we anxious to bring our Emalyn home, but we would love to have as much time as possible with her before the baby comes.  In addition to that, it is my heart's desire to be able to travel to China, to her homeland, to love on her from the very second she's in our arms.  To have to wait at home for Hank to bring her back to me, just might "do me in" emotionally.  I do know that God has a plan, though.  I know that He ordained this and it will play out just as He has plans and I can rest in that.

A Care Package for Emalyn

We have had so much fun gathering items to send to Emalyn, her nannies and friends at the orphanage.  It was hard to narrow down all that we would have liked to send to items that were practical and would fit in a 12" x 12" x 6" box.  This has been a good distraction from the waiting and waiting and waiting for LOA.  Even though it has barely been 30 days, I am so anxious to move past this large "yield sign" on the road to bringing Emalyn home.

After alot of debate and indecisiveness, here is what we decided to send.  People say that the Chinese people love American cosmetics, etc. because they are so expensive in China, so for the nannies we sent lip gloss and mini candles from Bath and Body Works.  For Emalyn's nanny, we sent shower gel, lotion, body spray, lip gloss and a loofa also from Bath and Body Works.  For the all of the children, we sent a noise maker/musical instrument to chew on, play with, and shake.  We also included two disposable cameras that we hope the nannies will use to snap pictures of Emalyn for us over the next few months.

For Emalyn, we sent a special tiger lovie that was selected especially for her by her big sister (with a little coaxing from me).  Emalyn was born in 2010 which was the year of the tiger.

We also sent a special board book that we made for Emalyn.  Each page has a picture of someone in our family and that person's name/title in English and Pinyin.  My hope is that her nanny will read her the book and point out each person in her forever family so that our faces will be familiar when she's finally in our arms.

Here is an inside view of our board book.  This page says 'big sister'.

Of course, our package wouldn't be complete without a little "decorating" by Adair. 

On our way to the post office.

To China from America, with love.  We hope this package reaches our little girl soon and that she can feel our love through each item we placed in the box.

Emalyn's Finding Ad

In China, when a child is abandoned, the orphanage is required to run an ad in the newspaper to try to locate the child's parents or another family member.  For most forever families, this ad is the earliest photograph available of your child.  We are thrilled that there is an adoptive father who has made it his mission to provide copies of these ads for as many families as possible and he was able to find Emalyn's.  Her ad ran in the paper on August 31, 2010 when she was just shy of three months old.  The ad includes her birthday, finding day, finding place and two physical characteristics--cleft lip and small eyes.  As her mommy, I am especially grateful to have this early picture of our precious daughter.  It's likely we'll never have a picture of her at a younger age.  Isn't she adorable?

Emalyn is the middle picture

The newspaper: Emalyn's picture is in the left

column, second from the bottom

Introducing Our Daughter

Finally, after a long week of waiting to share our joy and details about our daughter with you, we finally received pre approval today!  Here she is, the newest member of our family...we proudly introduce Emalyn Mae Qing.

 Our first unofficial family picture

Emalyn with her big sister

 Let's see, where do I start?  As I mentioned before we were DTC on August 17 and were just waiting to get logged in, which was the last step before receiving a referral.  It can take up to four weeks to get logged in, so in my mind we were awaiting a referral from the September shared list (that comes out once a month at the end of the month).  Our social worker, Amy, called late on Monday afternoon, August 30, to deliver the good news that we were logged in and officially waiting on a referral.  She then informed me that the August shared list was due to be released that night (now, like any other adoption obsessed mom, I already knew this was the prediction from the Rumor Queen website and my coffee group, but it was nice to have it confirmed by someone who should know).  She was quick to manage my expectations by saying the list could be short, it could have fewer young babies on it, etc. and we may not get a referral since we were among the last ones logged in prior to the release of the list. 

Based on this information, I tried not to get my hopes up, but kept my phone close by just in case she called.  At 9 am on Tuesday morning, the phone rang.  As soon as I looked and saw it was Amy I got butterflies in my stomach.  Her first words were "are you sitting down?".  She proceeded to tell me a little bit about a sweet little girl and then asked if we wanted to see her file.  "Yes, of course we do!" was my quick response.  A few minutes later Hank and I opened an email that revealed this precious little face.



Included with the pictures was a short medical file and a few details about the personality and habits of our daughter.  We reviewed the file as best we could, forwarded it to a friend who is an ENT, and to the International Adoption Clinic.  We had such a peace from the first glance that she was the one.  I had prayed for clarity and peace was good enough for me.  God has provided so much more than we could have ever asked for or imagined throughout this process.  He is in control and has shown us that over and over again.  He is faithful always and we are so excited to welcome this adorable bundle of joy into our family.

After praying over her, talking to the necessary medical people, and family members, we accepted her referral the same day we received it.

Emalyn is 15 months old and has a first degree cleft lip.  She is tiny for her age, but seems very healthy.  Her cleft lip seems to be mostly cosmetic and doesn't seem to interfere with her eating or babbling.  Her file says she is well liked and fairly on target for her age, developmentally.  Qing is part of her Chinese name and it means "celebrate".  Which we will do for the rest of her life! 

Emalyn was abandoned and that will always be a part of her story, but that will never be all of her story.  I don't want to share too many details about her finding place and story, but it was obvious by the way she was left that someone loved her dearly and didn't choose to give her up.  To me as her mommy, that is very comforting.  I am thankful that I will be able to look her in the eyes when she is old enough to ask questions and tell her with full confidence that her Chinese mother loved her and only gave her up because she had no other choice. 

From what I have gathered during my online searches, she is in a pretty good orphanage (if there is such a thing).  The ratio of caregivers to babies is 1 to 6, which is unusually small.  They receive alot of groups on mission trips into the orphanage to rock, love on and care for the babies, help the nannies and build furniture.  There are two married couples who reside and work at the orphanage, so she has been around men.  This is a blessing, because alot of orphans have never seen a man much less spent time with one. 

It is surreal not knowing every detail of her life and growth and needs and likes/dislikes.  Everyday I try to imagine what she is doing, if she is eating well, sleeping well, well loved, played with...it is hard not knowing much for sure.  Please pray with us that God would prepare her heart to meet us and that He would prepare our hearts, too.  A friend who has an adopted sister told me that her mom always prayed that someone would cry when they took their daughter from her orphanage.  I love that, because it says that someone loved her enough to shed tears because they wanted what was best for her, a forever family, but they would miss her.  I want that to be my prayer for Emalyn.  I pray that someone with her now loves her enough to cry when she meets her forever family.

We are so thankful to be at this point so quickly and we pray that the next steps move along as quickly as the ones before them.  We can't wait to hold our daughter in our arms...to love her up close instead of a world away.

She's the One

We have accepted the referral of our daughter!  I cannot wait to share her with all of you and tell you all about her.  Right now, I am not at liberty to share pictures or details, but I promise to do so as soon as we receive our preapproval to adopt her.  I can tell you that she is a beautiful little girl and perfect for our family.  God is so faithful and we know she is the ONE that He created especially for us.  We are all in awe of His goodness and faithfulness!

LID: Can this really be happening?

We are officially logged-in!  I can hardly believe we are already at this point!  God is so good and so faithful!  LID (log in date) is the last step before receiving a referral and we are there...we are officially waiting on a referral.  The shared-list comes out tonight, so we could see the face of our precious daughter within hours!

Chapter Two of Our Mobile Story

Many of you probably remember that in mid March we received an unexpected phone call that presented the possibility of adopting a soon-to-be born baby girl in Mobile.  We trusted God and obeyed His call to go to Mobile.  In the end, we didn't adopt that sweet baby girl, but we felt like God really used us to witness to the birth mom in a way that would, hopefully, have a life long impact.  Go here to read the first chapter in this story of God's faithfulness.

Now, on to chapter two.  Our friend, Amanda, called today to let me know that that sweet baby girl has been adopted.  It's a long story and not without some of the same drama we experienced, but it is such a blessing to know that she will be loved, cared for and nourished like she should be.  Amanda did say that she is developmentally delayed and slightly malnourished because of the circumstances in which she has lived these last five months, so please pray for her to grow and learn and for her forever family to grow with love for her everyday.

Thank you for walking through this experience with us.  It has truly been amazing to obey God's call and, now, to be able to look back and see His hand in every step of the process.  We are so thankful to have been used in this little girl's life.

Welcome Home Avery

The second little girl among our Red Thread group is home!  Our sweet friends, the Carringtons, returned home from China with their precious daughter, Avery, today.  It was such a joy to greet them at the airport and see her sweet, curious face.  Isn't she just adorable?  Avery was welcomed home by three brothers and a sister...what a homecoming!

 

 Red thread moms (and kids): Tiffany, Kim, Mary Ann,

Stacie, Mallory, Rushton and me

The first two home:  Karyle, Stacie, Avery and Mallory

We are DTC!

We are officially DTC!  For those of you who are unfamiliar with the adoption lingo, DTC stands for "dossier to China".  Our plea to adopt and all of our paperwork is on its way to China.  Once it arrives, we will wait 3-4 weeks for a log in date (LID) and then we are officially waiting on a referral.

We covet your prayers during this time.  These are the things we are praying for specifically.

-Wisdom for Lifeline (our agency) and Lily who will be matching us with our daughter.
-Clarity upon referral; that we would know without a doubt if we are staring at the face of our daughter.
-That God would provide a special person to love our daughter and comfort her while she waits.
-That God would prepare her heart to be adopted and provide a supernatural peace through the transition.
-That God would prepare our hearts and the hearts of our families and friends, to love her, accept her and grow her up in the Lord.
-That this process would continue smoothly and quickly. 

Thank you for supporting us and praying with us during this process.  Visit us at our family blog at http://www.birdsofafeather.blogspot.com/ if you'd like to see what we are up to as we anxiously await the day we bring our second daughter home.

Second Sendoff

The second Red Thread family left this morning to meet their daughter and bring her home.  Please pray for the Carringtons as they embark on this amazing journey.  Their daughter, Avery, is a precious gift from God and will soon be home with sister and three brothers.  If you're an adoption blog junkie (like I am) you can follow their journey at http://carringtonfamilyof6.blogspot.com/.

We can't wait to meet you, Avery!

Credits:  Title borrowed from Robyn. :-)

One Reason to Look Forward to 30

I was going to title this post "The Top Ten Reasons to Look Forward to 30", but then I realized I couldn't think of ten reasons, however I CAN think of one really GOOD reason to anticipate my 30th birthday.  Aside from all of the paperwork, reading, learning, etc. that you must to do adopt from China there are also certain qualifications you have to meet...a minimum income level, a minimum number of years married and a minimum age...and, you guessed it, that age is 30!  We can't officially be "DTC" until my 30th birthday.  So, if you are approaching the big 3-0 and need a reason to look forward to it, may I recommend adopting a child from China.  I'm joking, you know, but this small caveat to our adoption has proven to make me look forward to an age many dread.

With that said, here is an official update on our whereabouts in this lengthy process.  We received our immigration approval today (which is ironically exactly one month before my birthday).  For those of you who don't know, that means that US immigration has approved our application to make our future daughter a citizen.  This is a big step in the process.  Next, we will complete our Dossier (a Dossier consists of your home study, birth certificates, marriage license, child desired form, and a lot of other paperwork).  Once complete, our Dossier will be authenticated and then sent to China.  Once it is received by the Chinese government, we will be "logged-in" and once we are "logged-in" we will be officially waiting on our referral. 

It won't be too much longer until we see the face of our precious daughter.  We have such a peace that God will bring her to us at His appointed time and we just can't wait to see how He will continue to knit our family together over time and distance.  Thanks for sharing in this special journey with us.

Welcome Home Karlye

The first of our moms group's daughters is finally home!  Our sweet friends, the Bercks, returned home from China with their precious daughter Karlye yesterday.  It was such a joy to greet them at the airport and see her sweet, smiling face.  Isn't she just adorable?

While the Bercks were away, our moms group made t-shirts for these special occasions and surprised Stacie and Nathan by wearing them to the airport.  The front says, "One less orphan in China..." and the back says, "...one more child of God in Birmingham."

 Red Thread Moms: Mallory, Tiffany, Stacie and Karlye, me, Kim and Rushton

Many of our families joined us at the airport to greet Karlye, too!

Red Thread Moms Group

For months I have been meaning to share this incredible blessing and I really regret that it has taken me so long to write this post!

When we first decided to pursue the adoption of a little girl from China and began telling our friends and family, a dear friend from church, Dana, insisted that I contact her sister, Robyn, who was also in the early stages of adopting from China.  Little did I know that one email to a friend's sister would lead to one of the most incredible blessings God could have provided in this process.  Robyn had connected with several other adoptive moms (all adopting from China) and they had started meeting every other week for coffee, she invited me to join them and I immediately said "yes"!  It was almost five months ago that I met Robyn, Rushton, Mallory, Stacie, and Kim, but I feel like I have known these ladies for much longer.

I could not have asked for a more Godly group of women to walk with on this long road to our daughters.  I have been blessed by them in more ways than I could have ever dreamt possible.  We share successes and praises and sympathize over delays and difficulties.  Our little group of six continues to grow and we have deemed ourselves the Red Thread Moms Group based on the Chinese legend of the red thread and the following poem.  I think this really speaks to where our hearts are.

A red thread to China was cast today
From us to a child so far away.
This thread symbolizes an attachment of hearts
That distance alone can't keep us apart.

Her mother and I are caught in a chase
That time alone will bring us to face
This loving young child we want so much to greet
With love in our hearts before we did meet.

This tiny, thin thread may stretch, tangle or fray
But our love for her grows stronger each day.
Through the test of time it won't break or sever
She'll be part of us forever and ever.

With oceans between us, the distance is spanned
By a love that is greater than man could have planned.
For God in His mercy loved her and us
And decided our family would be a great plus.

So for now we'll just love her and pray every day
That God keeps her and loves her for us till we may
Travel to China, that land of great past,
To the side of our daughter, to hold her at last.

Pray for Our Friends

Some of our dear friends are leaving this week for China to be united with their daughters. 

The Bercks
Nathan and Stacie leave on tomorrow to finalize the adoption of their daughter, Karlye, who is about one and a half.  Shortly after we started the adoption process, God led us to a group of people who are all adopting daughters from China.  We all became fast friends and the Bercks are the first couple within this group to travel to bring home their daughter.  This is a group only God could have orchestrated and we are so thankful for these sweet, like minded friends.  Follow the Berck's journey at http://www.prepareourhearts.blogspot.com/.

The Browns
Scott, Kelley, Carter (3) and Grace (2) leave on Thursday to finalize the adoption of Caroline who is 12 years old.  We go to church with the Browns.  Praying for them through their adoption of Grace and watching her bloom and grow was instrumental in our decision to adopt.  We are so thankful to God for placing them in our life.  Follow their journey at http://www.scottkelleyandcarter.blogspot.com/. 

Please pray with us for the Bercks and the Browns as they embark on the journey of a lifetime.

We See the Same Moon

Over the last week we have been celebrating Adair's third birthday and (hopefully) her last birthday as an only child.  My best friend, who Adair affectionately calls Aunt Hollie, and her girls gave Adair a book by Margaret Wise Brown for her birthday called "The Moon Shines Down".  It's a sweet book based on the rhyme:

I see the Moon
And the Moon sees me.
God bless the Moon
And God bless me.

The book goes through the different countries around the world and talks about how the same moon shines down on all of us.  On the pages about Asia, Hollie added her own verse for Adair about her sister.  It brought a tear to my eye when I read it. 

Across the sea in the Far, Far East,
The sun comes up as we go to sleep.
Many languages these children speak-
Japanese, Korean, and Chinese,
Mandarin, Laotian, and Vietnamese.

God bless the Moon
And God bless me,
And God bless the children
In the Far, Far East.

I see the Moon
And the moon sees me,
And my sweet Little Sister
In the Far, Far East.

God bless the Moon
And God bless me,
And my new Best Friend
From the Far, Far East.

What a sweet reminder that no matter how many physical miles separate us the same moon shines down on all of us and the same God comforts, provides, protects, loves and blesses us.  I don't think I will ever look at the moon the same way again. 

Home Study, Home Stretch

We had our final home study interview this morning!  Now, we just have to wait for our social worker, Amy, to write our home study.  Once she has written it and we have approved it, it will go to immigration.  Immigration then has to approve us to adopt a child and agrees to grant our adopted child citizenship.  This process usually takes three to four months, during which we will be "pushing" more paperwork and preparing our dossier. 

On a humorous note, we took pictures the other day for Adair's passport and all of our visas.  I thought it was pretty cute to see all of our heads lined up like mugshots (with the exception of the smiles), so here they are. 

Easter: An Adoption Story

A friend sent me a video today of a sermon by David Platt, the pastor of The Church at Brookhills.  What an amazing way to see adoption and our own adoption by Christ.  If you have time, I would encourage you to go here to watch it.  I've included some notes below, but they don't do the message justice.

Easter is a story of our adoption by God.

1) God changes our status. 

Galatians 4:4-7

But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons. And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, "Abba! Father!” So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God. How can I, a sinner, be made right with God who is holy?

Adoption requires that someone comes at the right time.

Someone who possesses the right qualifications must come. -- Jesus had to be both fully God and fully man to be able to bridge the gap between us and God.  He had to be perfectly subject to the law.

Someone must come with the right resolve. -- They must come with the intent to adopt.  God sent Jesus with the purpose to buy our freedom for us, so that He could adopt us and we could be called children of God.  The god of the universe has stood up and shouted, “I will not abandon you to your sin.”  Jesus has the resolve, “I will sacrifice my own life so that they can be brought into my father’s family.”

2) God changes our family. 

Ephesians 1:4-10

For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us. With all wisdom and understanding, he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, to be put into effect when the times reach their fulfillment—to bring unity to all things in heaven and on earth under Christ.

We are not just deemed right before God, He lavishes His love on us.

He planned to love us. -- Adoption doesn’t just happen.  It is planned and intentional.

He paid a price to love you. -- Adoption is costly…financially, emotionally...but it is worth it.

He pursues you with His love. -- When you place your faith in Christ, that is where His love starts, not where it stops.  He never stops loving us.  He loves us and we reciprocate that love, attaching to God, building a relationship with Him.

3) God changes our future. 

Romans 8:14-15

For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.”

There are no orphans in the family of God.

He promises us a full inheritance. -- When we are adopted by God, nothing can take us out of His hand.  We are heirs to His glory.

He prepares us an eternal home.

This Love: An Adoption Song

Mandi Mapes / This Love / P E M MA by jamesjosephaudio

THIS LOVE
by Mandi Mapes

I’ve never felt this way before
funny how you found you’re way to my door
and suddenly my prayers are coming true
and these arms are not letting go of you

this love this love is the deep kind
you’re my baby, you’re my sunshine
I’ll hold your hand, be your biggest fan
and I’ll love you all of the time

our eyes are not quite the same shade
and your hair blows in the wind a different way
but I am your mother and
I love you just the same
so I’ll take your hand honey
and you can take my name

my heart has been redeemed,
adopted and now I know my Father
this grace that I’ve received
I want to show you
I want to show you

this love this love is the deep kind
it hangs on through the storm and the sunshine
I’ll hold your hand, be your biggest fan
and I’ll love you all of the time

One Step Closer to Done

Today we had our home "tour" portion of our home study.  The "tour" really looked more like a playdate and it was great!  Our sweet social worker, Amy, brought her precious daughter, Emerson, with her to see our home.  Emerson and Adair hit it off right away.  They were shrieking with laughter from the start and became fast friends.  Emerson was adopted from China, just like Adair's sister will be, and will be five in July.  Adair can't wait until the next time we get to play with Emerson!  My only regret from the day is not getting a picture of the two of them together!  If only the entire home study process was this fun and easy!

Half-way Around the World

This afternoon we visited Lifeline for an Open House.  This outing presented a wonderful opportunity to talk to Adair more about bringing home her little sister from China.  In the International Adoption section of the offices there was a large map of the world on the wall.  Hank pointed out where we live (the US was blue on this map) and then where her sister lives (China was yellow on this map), then drew an imaginary line to show Adair how we would get there; he also explained that we would have to travel by plane to go and get her.  We were also able to introduce Adair to our social worker, Amy, who quickly became the "lady who will help us get my sister" to Adair.  As the event progressed, Adair explained to everyone that we were going from the blue to the yellow on a plane to get her little sister and Ms. Amy would help us.  If only getting our daughter into our arms was so simple!


Looking at the map got me thinking about how different our "world" is from the "world" our second daughter lives in.  In addition to the vast differences between having parents and having 1 caregiver per 20 children, our home and an orphanage, plenty of food and rationed food, our countries and our countries histories are incredibly different. 


I have been reading simple children's books about China and I thought it would be interesting to share some of what I am learning.

• China is the third largest (land size) country in the world, after Russia and Canada.
• More than one billion people live in China.  About one of every five people on Earth is Chinese.
• Because the cities are so crowded the government controls the number of people who may live there.
• The Great Wall of China was built during the Qin dynasty to protect China from invaders.  It is about 1500 miles long. (That is about half of the US.)
• In 1368 Emperor Yongle built a royal city in Beijing called the Forbidden City.  Common citizens were not allowed inside.
• In 1912 the days of dynasties came to an end and China became a republic that was headed by a president.
• In 1949 the republic was overthrown by communists and renamed the People's Republic of China.
• Few homes in China have their own showers and toilets.  Most of the time these are centrally located where many people can use them.
• China is the only place in the world where giant pandas are found in the wild.
• Three of every five people in China work on farms.
• Today, the major farm crops are rice, wheat, cotton, fruits and vegetables.  Some farmers also raise chickens and pigs.
• Many Chinese work in factories or the shipping business.
• The Chinese calendar follows the cycles of the moon.  Chinese New Year usually comes with February's full moon.  An animal is matched with each year.

 It's almost hard to fathom how "old" China is.  It's earliest dynasties began almost 4,000 years ago.  It's hard to compare that to the 200+ years of American history!

God is Bigger than Our Circumstances

(Disclaimer:  This is quiet possibly the longest blog post in the history of blogs, so if you are sitting down to read it, you might want to grab a cup of coffee or a glass of wine.)

So much has happened over the last three days, I’m not sure where to begin.  I guess I should back up to the very beginning.  Last Sunday afternoon, Hank talked to his best friend from high school, Craig, and told him we had started the adoption process to bring home a little girl from China.  He explained that God has given us a heart for China and how excited we were to be obedient to this calling.  Craig and his wife, Amanda, have adopted two boys domestically and are big advocates for adoption in general.  Amanda is a board member for and assists with a non-profit organization called Adoption Rocks that matches birth moms with families and good friends with the founding attorney, Donna.

A week or so ago, Donna received a call from a young lady, D, looking to place her baby girl due March 23 for adoption.  Donna collected some information from her and felt compelled to help her.  D was an unusual case for Donna.  Not only had she waited until really close to her due date to start the adoption process, but she also suffers from a seizure disorder that was caused by a head injury she received after being intentionally thrown from a boat by her step father at the age of 13.  D explained to Donna that there is no way she can keep her baby.  She can’t work or drive because of her seizures and only receives $600 a month in disability money.  She had no transportation and no family support.  Because Adoption Rocks has had a very busy year of placing babies, Donna only had three waiting families with whom to share D’s profile.  Amanda, having learned of D’s situation from Donna, couldn’t get us out of her mind and felt led to reach out to us.

So, Tuesday morning, Hank received a call from Amanda that neither of us ever expected.  She told him D’s story and asked if we would be interested in having her share with D about us and potentially adopting the baby.  When he calls me (as I am driving to Atlanta with Adair, my best friend and her two girls) the first words out of his mouth were “I just received a call and I don’t know what to make of it”.  He went on to explain the opportunity that was set before us.  We talked and prayed and, over the course of the day, decided that God was asking us to walk through this open door.  Amanda asked if we could come to Mobile over the weekend to meet D and get to know each other.  Then she called back and said that D had a doctor’s appointment the next day (Wednesday) at 9 am and wanted to know if we could get to Mobile in time to go with her.  This was all happening faster than we could process it, but we knew God was asking us to trust him, so we did.  We rearranged our schedules, Adair and I came back early from Atlanta, Hank’s mom drove over to keep Adair and we headed out the door at 4 am Wednesday morning on a journey with an undetermined outcome trusting God to use us in any way He saw fit.  We prayed all the way for God’s faithfulness and His will.  We prayed that He would use us to minister to this birth mom regardless of the outcome of the adoption.

When we arrived in Mobile we met D and Amanda for a quick breakfast.  Amanda had picked her up for her appointment because no one else in her life was willing to take her.  We were nervous walking into the restaurant not knowing what to expect D to look like or act like.  We hit it off well considering our differences.  She seemed comfortable with us pretty immediately and we learned a lot about her life in a short amount of time.  She had definitely had some hard knocks.  Aside from the seizures, she was kicked out of school in tenth grade, lost her mom to cancer three years ago, was shuffled back and forth between her grandmother’s house and her dad and step mom’s house, her dad and step mom are drug addicts and they have five other children who they rarely send to school.  I could go on, but you get the idea, this girl had lived a tough life at only 23 years old.  After breakfast we continued on to the doctor’s appointment.  During the appointment D saw the doctor, went for an ultrasound, then saw the doctor again.  Due to several factors the doctor decided to deliver the baby via C-section that afternoon.  All day D talked about us adopting her baby and made many references to “us having a baby” that day.  As we sat in the waiting room with her for hours before the surgery we weren’t sure about adopting the baby, but felt like we were supposed to be there to walk through this with D.  We were there to encourage her and love on her when no one else was.  The poor girl was there with nothing more than the clothes on her back, no identification, no money, no nothing.  While we waited we made a list of things she would need for her hospital stay and later that night we went to Target to get them for her.

Eventually, her family started to arrive…first her dad and grandmother, then her cousin, H, then several of the step siblings, then an aunt, etc.  Still D seemed sure in her decision and her family, with the exception of cousin H, seemed to agree that D couldn’t raise the baby on her own.  D never wavered in her decision.  She kept saying that she really liked us, we seemed like wonderful parents and she wanted us to adopt her baby. 

(Let me pause here to explain something.  When you adopt a baby the courts will allow you to provide some financial help to the birth mother.  In this case we would only be allowed to give her money for March and April because the judge will only allow you to help one month after delivery.  In a case where the birth mom is matched with a family earlier in her pregnancy she would receive more help…and ultimately more money.  The most the judge was going to allow us to give her was $1500 per month, so $3000 total.)

Not long after D’s dad arrived at the hospital, he pulled Hank aside and said that $3000 wasn’t going to cut it and we were going to need to double or triple that for the deal to work out.  He went on to say that they had several other people who had offered a lot more for D’s baby.  Hank explained that that amount was mandated and limited by the judge and that we had no control over the dollar amount and if that was a deal breaker for them that we would have to walk away.  Later he recanted his statement and apologized saying that D really liked us and really wanted us to adopt the baby.

Around 4 pm D was taken into surgery and she delivered a beautiful, healthy 5 lb. 11 oz. baby girl.  Cousin H and her grandmother went into the surgery with her and cousin H cut the umbilical cord.  When they came into the waiting room to say that everyone was healthy, cousin H became completely hysterical.  She begged us not to “take” D’s baby, that she had no one to love her and this baby was hers.  We gently responded that we were not there to take D’s baby and that it was D’s decision to make.  Despite that she proceeded to tell everyone that we were there to buy D’s baby. 

All day we felt like God was saying stay, minister to this family, and I will honor it, but at this point we wanted to run far, far away.  Instead, we were obedient and we stayed.  When we laid eyes on that precious baby girl, the hysteria and drama of the day seemed to fade away.  When we finally saw D, even after all of the drama, she was still confident in her decision.  She signed a consent for us to have hospital bracelets that gave us access to the nursery and to take the baby to a private room to spend time with her.  She wanted us to hold the baby instead of her, she referred to Hank as the baby’s father, everything seemed right.  We spent time with D and talked about what an amazing thing she was doing and about how we knew God had brought us together for a reason.  We talked about the amazing plan that God had for D’s life and for her baby’s life and about trusting Him. 

After leaving the hospital for the night, we were driving around looking for a place to stay among full hotels or ones with only smoking rooms available when a dear friend of ours called and insisted that we go and stay with his mom and step dad who just happened to live within 5 minutes of the hospital.  We were so exhausted that we quickly accepted the invitation and thanked God for providing for us. 

The next morning Hank woke up early with an urge from God to search the scriptures.  He landed in 1 Kings where the two mothers were fighting over the baby and King Solomon says to cut the baby in half and give one half to each mother.  The real mother of the baby, out of love for her son, begs King Solomon not to kill the child, but instead give him to the other mother.  It’s hard to describe, but from that scripture I was reminded of a book that I read recently (The Traveler’s Gift by Andy Andrews) and felt led to give a copy to D.  In addition, we felt God telling us that D needed to find Him and when she did she could change her circumstances.  We knew it was not our place to judge D’s relationship with the Lord, but we had to follow our hearts.  So, we petitioned all of our friends for scripture references, bought her a Bible and highlighted each one.  Our hearts desire was for her to see that God loves her, that He sent His only Son to die on the cross to pay the price for her sins, that she is valuable to Him and that He desires to have an intimate relationship with her.

Around 8 am we stopped by the hospital to see the baby, we prayed over her and met with the pediatrician.  We didn’t want to bother D so early, so we left to grab breakfast.  Later that morning we talked to Donna who had talked to D and all was well.  We would meet at noon to sign the papers and officially begin the 5 day waiting period to finalize the adoption.  When we arrived back at the hospital just before noon, the nurse in the nursery said that D was wavering.  When we got to her room she said that she wanted to talk to us about the baby.  Her exact words were, “This deal that Donna is trying to make just isn’t working out.  $3000 isn’t enough for me to give you my baby.”  God is faithful and He gave us words, because I know we had none.  We told her that we cared about her and wanted what was best for her and for the baby, that is was her decision, but that it wasn’t about money it was about the baby.  We gave her the book and said we wait in the waiting room until Donna arrived.  As we waited I highlighted all of the scriptures that we had gathered and we prayed for God to use us to minister to this family and to protect and provide for that sweet child.  We prayed that no matter what the outcome was that we could plant a seed in D’s life.

When Donna arrived and talked to D, she didn’t change her mind and I’m not sure we wanted her to change her mind.  All we wanted was for D to make the decision that was best for the baby.  Only God knows what is best for her.  We were sad and concerned greatly for the welfare of that child, but we had an amazing peace through it all.  We had prayed that God would close the door if it wasn’t His will and He was faithful to answer our prayer.

As we talked with Craig and Amanda and over the next 12 hours, we worked through our sadness and disappointment and recognized and named every instance where God was so obviously present in this situation.  We can count a million good things that have and will come from this experience.  We know now that our main purpose in walking this road was to minister to D, not to adopt her baby.  God led us to write her a letter and our hope is that the letter, on top of the scripture and our conversations with her, will encourage D.  Our prayer is that she will realize that God is bigger than her circumstances and that she has the power to make the choices that will change her life and her baby’s life forever.

I want to share the letter with you in closing.  My prayer is that our transparency in sharing this story will encourage someone else who is walking through something similar.  Our pastor recently did a sermon centered on community and one thing he said that has stayed with me is that we go through trials so that we can minister to those who go through the same kinds of trials.  This is our mission field.  We know that so much good has come and will come from this experience.  We will likely never know how God works in D and her baby’s life, we will probably never see the fruits of our labor, but we know that God is faithful and that He will use and honor our obedience. 

For those of you reading this who have walked with us through these last days, you will never know how great the impact was of your prayers, support, encouragement and love.  Words could never express how thankful we are for each and every one of you.

“Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly that all that we can ask or imagine, according to the power at work within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever.  Amen.”  Ephesians 3:20-21

PS  For those of you wondering about our next step with adoption, walking through this has made our heart “swell” even more for adoption and confirmed, once again, that we have a daughter waiting for us in China.

Dear D,

We felt compelled to write you this letter and we hope that you will read it and store its words away in your heart.  And please let us begin by saying we have no hard feelings toward you and wish you and that sweet baby girl nothing but the very best that life has to offer.

We don’t know where your beliefs lie and it’s not our place to judge your relationship with God, but we know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that He brought us here, He has walked with us and guided us in every step, and that He has a purpose for us having met you. 

What we want to share with you is this: God is bigger than your circumstances.  You have the power to make decisions for you and that sweet baby girl now.  You can choose to accept your circumstances or you can decide to change them.  You can create a life for her where she can thrive, learn, grow and be happy.  Your life and her life are in your hands.

In Isaiah 41:9-10 God says, “I took you from the ends of the earth, from its farthest corners I called you.  I said, ‘You are my servant; I have chosen you and not rejected you.  So do not fear, for I am with you.  Do not be dismayed, for I am you God.  I will strengthen you and help you.  I will uphold you with my righteous hand.’”

Just think if you take it one step at a time and set out with a purpose and a drive to change your circumstances you can do it.  And there is a God who loves you and wants to bring you out of your circumstances.

Nothing is impossible with God (Luke 1:37).  If you decide to trust Him you can change your circumstances.  God is bigger than your circumstances.  Romans 8:31 says “If God is for us, who can be against us?”  He is on your side.  He wants to have a personal relationship with you.  God loves you, D.  So much so that He gave His only son over to death on a cross to wash away your sins and give you eternal life.  John 3:16 says, “God so loved the world that He gave His one and only son that we might have life and have it to the full.”  Romans 5:8 says, “But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”  Romans 6:23 says, “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”  Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him who have been called according to His purpose.”  Trust Him and He will work your circumstances for good.  God has adopted us as His own children.  1 John 2:12 says, “How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called the children of God.”

We know you talked about not having much money, but with that sweet baby girl you will have a little more.  Use it wisely.  Take time to learn about managing your money and keep what is rightfully yours.   Find a doctor who you trust and who can find the solution to manage your seizures.  Once you find a treatment that is working, be faithful to it.  Remain seizure free for a year and get a good steady job and your driver’s license.  With a driver’s license you will have so much more control over your daily life and won’t have to rely on everyone else as much.  Get a place to live for just the two of you.  Get your GED-you said you were so close.  Buy a book or find a website that will help you learn how to sew and use the talent and the passion you have to change your circumstances.

We don’t know where you will be in a year if you make these types of decisions, but we know that God will honor your effort and He will bless you.  We can imagine if you make a decision to change your circumstances today that a year from now on that little girl’s first birthday you would have something to celebrate in addition to her sweet little life.

One thing we have always said is that we want our children to have a better life than we had.  We love our daughter so much that we want her to have more and be more than we are and we accomplish that by not accepting our circumstances.  Through hard work and determination, you can change your circumstances.  God is bigger than any of our circumstances. 

You may not ever read “The Traveler’s Gift”, the book that we gave you yesterday, but we hope that you will.  We sincerely believe that there is a message in that book for you.  (If you start now, it’s likely you would finish before you are discharged from the hospital.)  It’s a fictional book, but really speaks to what we are talking about here.  The author uses historical decisions to encourage hard decisions.  He says there are seven principles with which to make decisions. 

·         The buck stops here – taking personal responsibility

·         Seek wisdom – search for understanding and discernment

·         Be a person of action – being a courageous leader

·         Have a decided heart – overcoming double mindedness

·         Choose happiness – possessing a grateful spirit

·         Forgive others – the power of grace and mercy

·         Persist – persevering with faith until the end

The buck stops with you, D.  You have the power to change your circumstances.  You can choose to accept them or you can choose to change them.  You have the power to decide today to give your daughter the life that you’ve always wanted.  The buck stops with you.

We will pray for you and for that sweet baby girl.  That’s a promise we will keep.  I am sure we will never see you again, but we know that God has an amazing plan for your life and for your baby’s life.  We pray that you will seek Him and trust Him to show you that He is bigger than your circumstances.

In closing, we will leave you with this blessing.  The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn His face toward you and give you peace (Number 6:24-26).

In Christ Alone,

Brecca and Hank