Greiving, Melting Down, Loving & a Pickle

Emalyn continues to adjust and attach well.  She surprises us with something she is capable of everyday! 

Over the weekend, Hank and I needed to attend a funeral visitation.  Sadly, our sweet friend Jerry lost his mom suddenly last weekend.  Please pray for his family and him if you think of it.  It was one of those things that we just couldn't skip.  We desperately wanted to support our friend and remember his mom.  Anyway, my parents kept Adair and we took Emalyn with us for a quick visit.  She managed wonderfully for a little bit and then I could tell she was getting anxious.  I walked outside with her and she perked back up to her usual self.  I found myself thanking God that, even after only three short weeks, we are able to read her like we can. 

Nap time remains our most difficult part of the day.  She goes to sleep easily now when I rock her, but only sleeps for 45 minutes to an hour and wakes up extremely sad.  She usually just whines and whimpers to get my attention, but as soon as I pick her up she begins to wail.  Most days she cries inconsolably for 20-30 minutes after waking up.  I know she is grieving, but it is such a helpless feeling not being able to console her.  Friday, she was crying and screaming while she was asleep and I couldn't wake her up.  It was a very alarming experience.  I found myself wanting to break down and cry with her, but instead I tickled her and jostled her around until she woke up...at which point she realized I was still there and she was safe in my arms.  I am pretty sure she was dreaming, but I sure wish I knew about what.  There are so many times, especially during these inconsolable moments, that I long to be able to read her mind.  I just feel like if I knew what she was thinking I could console and comfort her better.  I do know that she needs to grieve.  I want her to and, as I have said before, I am thankful she experienced something in her past that is worth grieving over.  In addition to that, I am thankful this is happening during the day and not in the middle of the night. 

At night, she continues to sleep well.  Hank and I have transitioned out of her bedroom and she is doing great.  I think she is comforted knowing Adair is there and she isn't alone.  In the mornings, she wakes up, stands up in her crib and grunts until I get there.  I have been amazed and thankful that she doesn't wake up crying.  I think she already understands that we are still there even when she can't see us and knows we will come as soon as we hear her.

Tonight at dinner we had our first major mealtime meltdown.  She is very independent and loves to feed herself with a fork or spoon.  A sweet friend from church brought spaghetti tonight for dinner and she loved it, but she wanted to feed herself, desperately.  Since she and Adair had already had a bath and were wearing their clean pajamas during dinner, I was very against this idea...generally I don't mind.  She let me feed her 3/4 of her dinner and then totally lost it when I wouldn't give her her plate.  We tried everything, but she only wanted the spaghetti and she only wanted it off the fork from her own hand.  We offered pineapple, bread, etc., but nothing would do.  She screamed and cried and refused food for 20 minutes.  It was a battle of wills, truth be told.  She was being stubborn and I was refusing to reward her screaming with giving in.  Finally we got out some yogurt and she gave in to feeding that to herself and letting me feed her the remaining spaghetti.  Thankfully, she is sound asleep upstairs in her same pajamas and without spaghetti in her hair. 

Over dinner and during Emalyn's screaming fit, Hank and I were having a conversation that has become fairly routine when something is a little difficult with the girls...I'm sure you can guess..."how are we going to do this with three girls?"  As is typical, Adair always corrects Hank when he says "three girls" and reminds him there are four girls (she always includes me).  The same thing followed our conversation tonight and then Adair looked at Hank and said, "Daddy, you're really in a pickle!"  Hank and I both just about fell out of our chairs laughing.  She was so serious and it was hilarious!  Thank you, Adair, for bringing comic relief to what started as a difficult dinner.

Here are a few pictures of our last few days. 

We enjoyed a fun day outside on Saturday morning.  We walked to O'Henry's, stopped at the park, then came home and had a picnic outside. 

 We made our first quick trip to the grocery store on Sunday morning.  While I was putting our groceries away, Emalyn enjoyed rearranging our fridge.  Everything went from the bottom shelf, into the drawer, and back again.

Yesterday, after dinner, the girls chased each other around the kitchen and when one caught the other (which isn't hard in our tiny kitchen) they would hug each other tightly.  Very cute!

Snuggling in Mommy and Daddy's bed this morning and pretending to go back to sleep...unfortunately for us, they really were only pretending.